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Imponderable #68: Whatever Dimension Jermaine Jackson Lives In

9 Nov

November 9, 2012

Remember Jermaine Jackson’s big solo hit, um, whatever? I looked it up on wikipeida and he actually did some solo stuff, and some it seemed fairly popular, but c’mon- it’s Jermaine. He’s so useless that he’s the Tito of the Jackson Family. I could have looked him up on YouTube but I hate it when websites laugh at me.

So before we get to the Imponderable, a bit of background.
Jermaine Jackson was born Jermaine LaJuane Jackson. Yep, read it again, “Jermaine LaJuane.” Who says that Joe Jackson didn’t have a sense of humor?
At some point he converted to Islam and changed his name to Mohammad Abdul Aziz.
At this point he seems to go by both, but soon, perhaps, neither.

And now the Imponderable.

Would “Jacksonn” have been cooler? And what about “Jaxon”? For some street cred, he could have gone for “Jaxxxon” and maybe spun a whole new career out of it, because being Jermaine Jackson doesn’t seem to be much of a career anymore, and not for a long time. Given the way the Jackson family is lining up to tear some shreds out of Michael Jackson’s fortune, I get the feeling that some of them (I’m looking at you, Rebbie) may have been pressing the soap slivers together for a long time.

Is Jermaine trying to dodge a process-server?
The question is Imponderable.

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