May 30, 2012
Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride has a long history of toilet-related posts:
No Toilet No Bride
Priorities First
Imponderable #34
The American Restroom Association
A New York Legend 3
That’s just a few. And don’t get me started on Mr. Know-It-All. His posts started and ended in the toilet.
It must run in the family, because here is Mr. Blog’s brother, Allan Keyes, reporting on some curious Japanese plumbing.
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Of all the high-tech gadgetry I saw in Tokyo, perhaps the one that stays with me the most was the toilet in the first hotel I stayed in. It really was kind of amazing. First of all, the actual toilet was separated off in a small room away from the actual wash room. Ok, fair enough I suppose. When I opened the door to the toilet, three things happened simultaneously:
1) The light automatically came on
2) Water in the toilet started to run
3) The lid of the bowl popped open invitingly.
Seriously. That toilet was giving me a “come give me what I need big boy” kind of vibe. But I had my fun with it- I got so that by opening and closing the toilet room door rapidly, I was able to manipulate the lid into basically singing along with the radio (and the flashing room light was just like a strobe!)
But here’s the thing that I still can’t wrap my head around – the control panel. Yes, that’s correct – the control panel. What kind of toilet needs a control panel? One that features this:
Heated toilet seat
Three levels of flush intensity
“Massaging seat” (!)
Deodorant
Bidet
Here’s the control set: 
Compare this to my Xbox controller:
MY TOILET WAS MORE COMPLICATED THAN MY XBOX.
But then again, my Xbox never really heated my ass either. At least not willingly.
Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride 
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