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Archive | 10:02 pm

American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior: Malaysian Adventure

7 May

May 7, 2012

Tonight we get to see Senior in a dress.

MALAYSIAN ADVENTURE
Senior, Jason, Jim and Steve travel to Malaysia, where they not only unveil their latest bike, but also encounter wildlife, swim under waterfalls and barter at the central market.

Forgive my lack of enthusiasm but the show began with future OCC boss Jason Pohl taking us through the process of making the bike. Because he had so much to do with the fabrication and he knows all about how to build a bike, every step of the process. That’s it, right? Right?

So while we eagerly await seeing the OCC crew swim in a lake and look at trees, Mikey went to Paulie to tell him that he wants to quit the show. He’s doing it because he thinks it will help his relationship with his father. Will it? Doubtful. then Paulie reports to his wife, as usual.

So what happens in Malaysia?
The OCC crew ride a bus and look out the window!
Senior says he needs a nap!
They walk through the lobby of a hotel!
Commercial break! WOW, this looks great! Seriously, had this show not jumped the shark a dozen times over this would be it.

Jason: “Monkeys! Monkeys! Monkeys! Monkeys near the car! Monkeys! Monkeys! Monkeys!” That is an exact quote.

They ride scooters! On the other side of the road!
They handle tame snakes!

And I am not making a joke, this is real, at about 9:15 there is a kid in a clown suit who looks just like Obama. Seriously, I’m not getting political, the kid looked just like him.

They hike up a mountain!
They look at a waterfall! Why am I still watching this?
They take off their shirts and swim!
They look at fish. (Jason: “Look at these fish!”)
Jim bites off Jason’s sleeves! (You had to see it.)
They ride a boat!
Jason makes up a song: “There’s a monkey in the boat, a monkey in the boat, a monkey in the boat, hi ho a monkey in the boat.” Then a monkey took a dump on Jason’s seat and Jason threw the feces back at the monkey. NOTE TO READERS: INSERT YOUR OWN JOKE HERE.
They pet stingrays! Big deal. I did that at the Coney Island Aquarium when I was four. (Jason: “Let’s set them free!” Senior: “Stop being stupid.”)
They put a horse shoe crab on Jim’s head!
They ride on more boats!
They ride a cable car! Is this over yet?
Jason misspelled his own name! “JASN.” Are you nothing a pattern here? Senior: “I don’t know if he’s suffering from lack of oxygen ’cause most o  the time he hasn’t made any sense.”
They shop at a local market!

And oh yeah, they unveil the bike.

THE HIGHLIGHT! Senior puts on a dress, a nice black and purple floral number. ANYONE HAVE A SCREEN CAP? SEND IT TO ME!

NEXT WEEK:
CHANGE OF HEART May 14, 2012
PJD starts a build for Skill Tools while OCC begins a bike based on an Italian sports car. Then Junior makes a huge decision that could finally end his estrangement from Senior once and for all.

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