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Tag Archives: Ohio

Imponderable #132: He’s A Van Man

22 Aug

August 22, 2016

blank imponderable header

 

This Imponderable comes to us from Dayton Ohio. Dayton is the home of an international airshow, but this guy really, really prefers cars.

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C’mon guys, who hasn’t had an experience like this? You’re walking down the street, maybe a little drunk or high, maybe blasted out of your mind, when a pretty van gives you the eye. Well, one thing leads to the other, and yada yada yada, you end with with your penis in the van’s grill. Happens all the time.

I found it interesting that he stuck his junk in the grill. I’d have expected him to stick it in the gas tank, or maybe the tailpipe. I guess the grill is the auto equivalent of oral sex?

The question is Imponderable.

Hmm. I wonder if the van needs victim counseling?

 

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(The Same Ol’) Bagful of Lies

26 Oct

October 26, 2013

Saturdays are rough lately, real rough. A new blog??? On Saturday???? What the-??

See what I mean? It is hard to keep up my wealthy man-about-town lifestyle and still get out a Saturday blog. Hence this Classic Repost.)

From January 29, 2013

I love croutons. A good bunch of croutons can really make a great salad. Cheddar and bacon, garlic and butter, you name it, I really love those toasted squares of stale bread and my salad isn’t a salad without them. But this particular bag of croutons just makes me angry. Who does it think it is anyway, insulting my intelligence?

croutons

New York brand croutons expects me to believe that they have the Original Texas Toast? Really? I’d think that the original Texas toast would come from, oh, … TEXAS.


Hold on to your hats, it gets worse! Turns out this bag of NEW YORK croutons is not made in New York at all!

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“New York” brand “Texas Toast” made in Ohio! Is there no truth in the world anymore? What can I trust? It was bad enough when I realized that no train stopped at my local Subway franchise, and not long ago I found out that beloved McDonald’s shill Grimace was played by the same man who dressed as the Hamburgler. Sheesh, no artistic integrity there either!

This just ruins my salad. I can’t eat croutons under false pretenses. Thanks a lot, Marzetti Company, you’ve just ruined my diet.

croutons LIE

And I think the Hamburgler is flashing gang signs in this picture. If he’s a Crip then I think McDonald’s should consider changing their advertising strategy.

McDonalds+Gooding+Hamburglar+Grimace+Jan+2013

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