Tag Archives: news

The Storm of 2017 that Wasn’t

11 Mar

March 11, 2017

FROM THE MR. BTR NETWORK NEWS, THIS IS A STORMTRACER SUPERWATCH SPECIAL ALERT!

Yup, that’s the way they handled NYC’s recent “snow storm.” They scared us so much the they even roused Mayor Boss DiBlassio into action. He canceled alternate side parking a full 24 hours before a single snowflake fell. It’s amazing what an unpopular Mayor facing reelection will do.

This was supposed to be a fairly short but moderately evil storm. It was going to come in fast, dump it’s load, and get out. (“That’s what she said!”) It was going to usher in gale-force winds and freezing temperatures. If you did not already have milk and bread you had better by golly rush out and get some since we were due for- hold on to your hat!- up to five inches of snow, meaning if you needed some milk you’d have to put on your boots first as you walked down the block to the bodega that seems to be on every corner here. So no, we weren’t expecting much snow, but we were warned of huge gusts of freezing wind, heavy, almost blinding snow, and periods of extreme icy conditions.

What we got was this:

Look closely. There’s some heavy frost on those windows.

And that was at the height of the storm. Later on it turned bright, sunny, and downright pleasant.

Normally there’s no point in making fun of inaccurate weather forecasts. It happens all the time. But what made this one special was watching the morning weathermen vainly and sadly cling to their forecasts. Mike Woods on FOX 5 in particular was lost and adrift. As the hours and hours went on with no snow, and he and all weathermen looking foolish, he desperately tried to come up with a reason- any reason at all, why his forecast still said 3 to 5 inches of snow and windy conditions at 8 am on a very dry and conspicuously snow-free morning. At one point he said that he could see snow on the radar but it must not be hitting the ground. The news anchors were ribbing him, he looked confused, and once again, the faith we don’t put in any weather forecast was justified. 

Before this debacle, the weatherheads were predicting an even worse storm on this coming Monday into Tuesday, with (they claimed) the possibility of a foot of snow. After this morning, the weathermen are walking it back with “the models are sketchy” and “we’ll have to wait and see.”

Good advice. 

 

 

 

Imponderable #128: I Can’t Remember

27 Feb

February 27, 2016

Today’s Imponderable comes from the world of news radio. This was heard on the venerable 1010 WINS of New York.

memory

This is a legitimate story about research that shows that losing weight is linked to an improvement in memory. That’s all well and good, but a little research of my own brought me to articles as old as 2011, leading me to wonder what 1010 WINS defines as “breaking news.” I expect them to break in with a special report on the capture of the Unibomber any time now.

But my real problem isn’t with the news, it is on the reporting. They quoted unnamed “researchers” as saying

“how can people lose weight if they don’t remember that they’ve eaten?”

At this point, I would like tell you the totally true fact that about seven years ago I looked into getting a job at 1010 WINS as a news writer and I was told that not only were there no openings, they only had one writer. I know I could have done a much better job than the guy who wrote this story.

Is weight gain due to the fact that people simply forget that they’ve eaten? Is that why I ate two Thanksgiving dinners last year, I simply forgot the first meal of turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and gravy so I had a second one because I was worried that I hadn’t had dinner yet? And that must explain why I binge ate a whole bag of Oreos last week. After I ate each cookie, I simply forgot that I ate it, so by the time I got to the end of the bag I was convinced that I only ate one cookie and was totally flummoxed about how a brand new bag could be empty after only one Oreo.

Is being overweight simply due to “food amnesia”?
No.

Does 1010 WINS have a clue about reporting?
The question is Imponderable.

And yes, I am totally coining the phrase “food amnesia.”

 

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