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A Trek of Many Colors

26 Jun

June 26, 2021

We all know Star Trek. Captain Kirk, Dr. Spock, Ship Surgeon “Mac” Coy, engineer Scotty Pippin, Fozzie Bear, Jabba the Hutt, Buzz Aldrin. All your favorites!

You think I don’t know Star Trek? As sure as James B. Kirk beat Ming the Merciless at the Battle of Midway, I know Star Trek better than these guys:

Yellow? Those are the classic Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan red uniforms. Mad Magazine, did you let Roger Kaputnik color this cover?

Blue? Now the red uniforms are blue? That’s a mistake I’d expect from Cracked, not a magazine of such journalistic integrity as Mad.

Did I say blue? Sorry Cracked. (And by the way, Kirk and Spock are about to die.)

And lastly, those red uniforms are blue again. Seriously, did Flash Gordon get his zap gun mixed up in the space ship Enterprise’s khyber crystals again? I sure hope somebody got fired for that one!

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Sure She’s Beautiful, But What About Those Pants?

27 Aug

August 27, 2020

You what I like about Facebook? No, really, I mean it. Tell me, what the heck do I like about that thing? I dunno.

Anyway, an ad popped up on Facebook and interrupted my perusal of posts in the very engaging and thought-provoking  Brony Costume Tips I mean Jean-Paul Sartre Critical Analysis group. It was a UPS ad. And being the kind of guy I am, I actually looked at the comments in a United Parcel Service advertisement.

Be honest- you didn’t notice that I cut off most of the text, did you?

The comments fell into two basic categories:

  1. UPS SUCKZ!
  2. That girl is hot! Who is she?

This was probably not a good spend of the UPS ad budget.

Well, like any good husband I’m terrified of my wife, so I didn’t make a comment one way or the other on the hot-or-not-ness of the girl. I also didn’t comment on the general suckitude of UPS, but that was just out of sheer not-caringitude. (Longtime readers may recall that I was formerly an English teacher, though you couldn’t tell that from the last sentences.)

But I kept scrolling through the comments as frankly it was more interesting than the Brony costume sewing advice I mean Jean-Paul Sartre debate I had been reading. And as I kept scrolling, more interesting comments came up. A debate began to rage about her pants. What’s up with those shiny rubber Hammer pants?

That’s all I want to know now. What’s up with those pants? It’s got to be some exercise thing, right? Like you work out in those really warm and heavy pants that don’t breath and you sweat a lot and eventually you melt the pounds away due to sheer disgusting body fluid loss?

What’s up with those pants???

 

 

 

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