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Star Wars Card Trading on eBay: Not Getting Your Money’s Worth

16 Aug

August 16, 2015

People are stupid. They’ve always been stupid. That’s no surprise to anyone who has ever tried to drive down Bay Parkway in Brooklyn. There, the rule of thumb for pedestrians is “there are no cars. None. Bay Parkway is an empty street. Shut your eyes and meander randomly in the middle of the road.” In other words, when driving down the stretch of Bay Parkway that runs from about 65th to 70th streets, you can expect to have to slam on your brakes and swerve out of the way of people who decide, for no logical reason, to cross, stand, stop, or eat lunch in the middle of the street. Walk and don’t walk signs are a foreign (language) concept to most of these people. Red lights? Green lights? Doesn’t matter since no one looks at them anyway. Is it a good idea to stop in the middle of crossing against traffic in the middle of the block to take a sip of your egg drop soup as you step out from between two trucks? No, but it happens anyway.

But as stupid as people are, they are getting stupider. Here’s proof.

Someone will buy these!

Someone will buy these!

There’s an app called Star Wars Card Trader. You can use credits to buy virtual packs of cards that you can trade with other people on the app. Many of the cards are rare or limited. Like real cards, the contents of the packs are random. They cost nothing to buy, though you only get a small number of credits per day. Helpfully, Topps allows you to buy more. But remember, you don’t have to spend a penny and the cards are free.

Most cards range from 5,000 to over a million printed. Some are as few as 50. But recently, Topps came out with a card limited to 10 and the users went crazy, spending all kinds of real money to buy credits to get this virtual card which does not physically exist and has no monetary value at all.

And according to the terms of the user agreement, you don’t really own any of these cards, Topps does, who can delete or revoke them anytime they want.

But people went totally gorilla-balls nuts for this ultra-rare card and you can find a few on eBay for $900 – $950.

Crazy! Who the hell is going to buy these? And I have no doubt they will be bought. What will you do with a card that can disappear as soon as the internet falls apart? Once again, I think the economy must be amazingly strong if people are buying these. Either that or people are getting stupider by the day.

But it gets worse. Topps made so much money selling credits to people who didn’t get the card that they released yet another ultra rare (and ugly) card. And you know what? Despite all the grumbling, moaning, and complaining on the message boards and forums, the users went gorilla-balls crazy and spent mucho dollars on credits again.

Pink Vader? Is he the new Hello Kitty?

Pink Vader? Is he the new Hello Kitty?

If there is a character less suited to pink I don’t want to know. But at least the seller for this one has helpfully allowed you spread your stupidity over six months. This way, instead of one regretful purchase, you can regret it all over again every month when the bill comes in.

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Here’s Why I Won’t See The New Fantastic Four Movie

28 Jul

July 28, 2015

LNMH FF

I already have ridiculously low expectations for the new Fantastic Four movie. The odds are against it. There have already been three lousy FF films, why should this be any better? And that’s pretty sad for me because the Fantastic Four is- hands down- my favorite Marvel title. I own every issue of the series on CD ROM. I have collections, collections, and more FF collections on my book shelves. The Thing is my favorite comic book character, beating out this blog’s perennial favorite superhero subject, Superman. But despite having seen superhero films about groups I barely pay any attention to (Guardians of the Galaxy) I will not see this film.

Why?

Because the Thing has no pants.

This is no joke on the expression “the Emperor has no clothes,” Ben Grimm is literally pantsless and naked in the movie.

FF Thing 2

I am not going to go into some geek explanation of how he’s not really made of rocks, his skin is tough and thick and rocklike so he has every biological attachment he should. I’m not going to even ask how he goes to the bathroom. No, my one and only problem is how stupid it looks.

FF Thing

If the filmmakers are going to make such a basic, dumb decision, and have their main character walk around like that, apparently neutered, then who knows what other stupid decisions they made.

Even in Watchmen, when Dr. Manhattan walked around naked, he was biologically correct.

This is a family blog!

This is a family blog!

So make any jokes you like about how Ben Grimm has been shortchanged, or how there’s no Giant-Sized Man-Thing here. I am not going to spend money to see what other stupid decisions they made.

Sheesh. All they had to do was give him a pair of shorts.

It's enough to make Jack Kirby cry.

It’s enough to make Jack Kirby cry.

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