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Make Donald Trump Great Again

27 Feb

February 27, 2016

You may not have heard, but Donald Trump is running for President. He hasn’t revealed his pick for VP yet, but I suspect it’ll be him too. Somehow he’ll figure out a way to be his own Vice President, because if one Donald Trump is good, two is great.

The idea of a Trump presidency has a lot of people excited. Take that any way you like.

But one group that loves LOVES the idea of President Trump is late night shoppers. I was watching the knife show on TV the other night (or morning, take your pick, it was about 4 am.) This is a show in which a guy who just walked into the studio sells knives that he knows little about.

“This knife has a wood handle. Looks like teak. Maybe that’s maple. But it’s solid, I’ll tell you that.”

This was their 90 second special. It was the second time I saw this for sale in the past week (yes, I have insomnia) and both times it sold out faster than Hillary Clinton to a special interest.

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Yes, that is the Donald Trump knife. And no, it is not an official campaign product. So on the one hand, I’m sure that the capitalist in Trump would love it, but on the other hand, the egomaniac in Trump would hate it since he’s not getting a cent from it.

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My favorite part of the whole thing is the picture they choose. Look at the scowl on Trump’s face. If he becomes President, I hope that’s what his official portrait looks like. That’s a very Presidential scowl, much like FDR had when confronting Mussolini. Maybe.

Not only does this knife say “I support Donald Trump,” it also says “I’ll cut you if you don’t.” Nothing will make America great again like pulling this knife on an illegal immigrant.

 

 

 

 

Star Wars: The Force Awakens, And Has Breakfast

26 Jan

January 26, 2016

Star Wars is back, and in the grand tradition of movie tie-ins, it has its own cereal. But I’m a little confused. Are Yoda and Darth Vader about to square off over a bowl of cereal? I guess there weren’t many grocery stores a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. Yoda looks pretty angry. I’m not sure I’d like to stare at that face over my breakfast table. Is he daring me to eat that cereal? This is a little violent for breakfast.

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Maybe it is all just a Jedi mind trick.

But not to be left out, the Trix Rabbit also got in on the act. Here he is, dressed as his favorite Star Wars character.

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He’s dressed as Princess Leia. Not what I would have expected. Is there something we should know about him? Seems like an odd choice. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I wonder how that box sold down South? “Yee-haw and fry my griddles! I ain’t having no gol-darn cross-dressing rabbit cereal in this house! Where’s my shotgun? I’m going out to shoot me a good old-fashioned muskrat for breakfast. And somebody check the still. I think I saw some revenuers sneaking around.”

Meanwhile, lost and left out of all the cross-promotion, is poor Jar Jar Binks.

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