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Halloween 2018: Random Notes

28 Oct

October 28, 2018

Halloween is usually this blog’s favorite time of year. But this season things are a little light on the Mr. Blog spooks and scares. But don’t worry, there’s a perfectly good reason for that. A perfectly good spooooky and scary reason! (Read that in your best Count Floyd voice.) Nevertheless, I’ve got a few things to say about Halloween 2018.

The Monster Mash

Now matter how old I get, I will still love this song. It takes me back, way back (way way back it seems on some days) to when I was a kid. Not that Mr. Blog is old. In fact, I feel as good as a man almost twice my age. (No, that’s not a typo. That’s exactly what I mean. Oy vey.)

I honestly feel that it is not Halloween until I hear Monster Mash on the radio. Really, I feel unfulfilled and without the Halloween spirit if I don’t hear it. That’s true. But it’s getting harder and harder to hear it on the radio since it’s hard to find stations that play songs like that. Last year I did not hear it until Halloween day and I was getting tense, believe you me. And I have a strict rule. I have to hear it on the radio, at random, whenever the station decides to play it. I cannot listen to the CD, I can’t find it on Pandora or search for it on YouTube. I have to independently stumble across it. Think it’s hard being me? You should ask my wife what it’s like being married to me.

This year I first heard it last week. BINGO! And then every single day since then, sometimes two or three times a day. And frankly I’m running the risk of getting burnt out on it. But I have a confession to make. Although I have to stumble on Monster Mash at random, I stacked the deck by playing the Halloween station on iHeart Radio. So on the one hand yes, I  heard it at whatever random time they played it, but no, I knew they would eventually play it. Did I cheat? I don’t know. It isn’t like when I reshuffle the cards in the middle of solitaire and yes, I do that too.

There were so many good images for the Monster Mash that I made this Monster Mash Mash-Up

The Addams Family

When it comes to the great Addams Family vs. The Munsters feud, I am firmly in the Addams Family camp. (I also side with Kirk vs. Picard and Cocoa Pebbles over Count Chokula.)

The Munsters is fun, no doubt about it. I like it. But The Addams Family cracks me up. I watched an episode this morning and I literally laughed out loud like a loon. Luckily no one was home. It was the episode where lurch was learning to dance for the big Butler’s Ball and he threw his back out. Gomez wanted to help him align his back but Lurch was nervous. Here’s the dialogue that cracked me up.

GOMEZ: Don’t worry Lurch. These hands have healed more people than Albert Schweitzer!
MORTICIA: It’s true. The medical community was agog over his cure for Granmama’s bad back.
GOMEZ: Agog? Aghast!

It may not be lol here, but if you saw John Astin deliver that last line you would have stained your shorts too. (Not that I did that. It’s just an expression.) And that is what makes The Addams Family better. While they both have similar broad humor, the writing is simply better and funnier than The Munsters. But it takes a good actor to deliver a good line and John Astin is amazing. Just look at him. Look at the expression on his face and especially the look in his eyes. When you see Gomez, you think “John Astin is insane.” There’s a subtle yet manic lunacy in his performance. It is very similar to what he did with the role of Buddy, Harry Anderson’s father on Night Court, except he was less manic and more laid back. But the lunacy was in his eyes. He really is a great actor and if you go back to his small scene as Glad Hand in West Side Story he shines in that too, even if he is only on screen for mere seconds.

And yeah, I side with Carolyn Jones over Yvonne DeCarlo too,

 

The eyes have it!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM THE EDITORS AND STAFF OF MR. BLOG’S TEPID RIDE!

 

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I Say It’s Funny!

20 Sep

September 20, 2018

There’s an old saying that I firmly believe: If you have to explain a joke, it isn’t funny.

But the heck with it, I say. This post below from almost exactly one year ago is funny no matter what anyone thinks.

Back in October 2017, I took aim at the pumpkin spice craze, in which everything from your morning coffee to your evening laxative suddenly gets a pumpkin spice infusion every autumn. “So,” I thought, “why not give the ol’ Tepid Timewaster a shot of pumpkin spice? What could possibly go wrong?”

The joke fell flat, that’s what went wrong. And I blame you. Each and every one of you. All three of my readers, you are to blame. Because this is funny on so many levels that I shouldn’t have to spell it all out for you but I am going to spell it all out for you.

  1. I started with a ridiculous premise, ranking people on a Pumpkin Spice Scale. What does that even mean? How can you judge people based on pumpkin spice? It makes no sense.
  2. I wrote it in an over the top, US Weekly/Entertainment Weekly/People Magazine Weekly style and used silly graphics.
  3. I stressed that I am going to put together a list of “TV’s most beloved and iconic characters,” from “your favorite sitcoms and dramas,” and asked if “your favorite hero or the small screen’s greatest villain” made the list and started it off with Wolf Blitzer. Wolf freakin’ Blitzer, the boring old man who reads cue cards during thunderstorms on CNN. Didn’t any of you get where this is going at that point???
  4. The list then went to the incredibly boring (and not spicy in any way) Phyllis Vance from The Office, but at least she’s a legit TV character. At number three was Barney Rubble, a cartoon character, and he was followed by The Snorks. Is there any sense at all to this list? None that I can see. But it gets better. Funnier!
  5. Next up was Taylor Swift. Now T-Swiss may be my secret crush (if my wife is reading  this, perhaps you should stop reading this) but she is in no way a TV star, and I went out of my way to stress these are TV stars. OH HO! Mr. Blog has gone off the rails!
  6. Captain Kirk comes in next, but I choose the most ridiculous picture of him I could find.
  7. Olivia Benson, from Law & Order: SVU is only half a pumpkin spice ahead of Kirk. Why? How? I don’t know.
  8. President Nixon. ‘Nuff said.
  9. Fred Mertz comes in near the top because, I’ll admit, he cracks me up. He’s the only reason to watch I Love Lucy. The show should have been about Ricky and Fred. Period. But again, I picked the least funny, least spicy picture I could. He’s asleep.
  10. I ended the list of greatest TV characters with Edgar Allan Poe. A man who in real life died about 600 years before TV was invented (give or take a few hundred) and crowned him Television’s Pumpkin Spiciest Character.

I ended the whole shebang with a blatant plea for comments, for people to write in and give me their take on who the most pumpkin spicy characters on TV are. For the first time in years I actually solicited comments, expected the conversation to continue in the comment section, with people who, you know, actually got the joke. And did I get any? No. Not a single one. (I’m looking at you, Aunt Edwina. So now I’m off the Christmas card and blog comments lists? What did I do to you, except sleep in your garage for fourteen years?)

Now excuse me, I’m going to yell at some kids to stay off my lawn. And after that I hear some loud birds I need to shoo out of my tree. And is it me or is the sky too blue today? Dagnabit!

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October  8, 2017

It is autumn and that means that it is Pumpkin Spice Season. Everything comes in pumpkin spice flavor. Coffee, bread, steak, arsenic, it’s all pumpkin spice! So in the spirit of the season, the Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride (Home of the Almost OK Blog) have gotten together a list of TV’s most beloved and iconic characters and rated them on our patented Pumpkin Spice Scale.

We’ve scoured your favorite sitcoms and dramas and picked out your all-time favorite and beloved TV stars. We then took the best of the best and ranked them from least to most pumpkin spiciness. Did your favorite hero make the list? Is the small screen’s greatest villain in the top ten? Let’s find out!

 

WOLF BLITZER: 1/2 PUMPKIN SPICE

 

PHYLLIS VANCE: 1 PUMPKIN SPICE

 

BARNEY RUBBLE: 1 1/2 PUMPKIN SPICE

 

THE SNORKS: 2 PUMPKIN SPICE

 

TAYLOR SWIFT: 3 PUMPKIN SPICE

 

CAPTAIN KIRK: 3 1/2 PUMPKIN SPICE

 

OLIVIA BENSON: 4 PUMPKIN SPICE

 

PRESIDENT NIXON: 4 1/2 PUMPKIN SPICE

 

FRED MERTZ: 5 PUMPKIN SPICE

 

EDGAR ALLAN POE: 6 PUMPKIN SPICE

 

Did we leave out any of your favorite TV stars? We hope we listed all of your favorite television characters. If we missed any, please leave a comment below and tell us who you think are the most pumpkin spicy TV stars!

 

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