Archive | December, 2012

The Unreality of Reality Television

19 Dec

December 19, 2012

There is nothing real about reality television. That is why shows like Keeping Up with The Kardashians are not called documentaries.

There is nothing real about reality television.

Dave Hester of Storage Wars is suing the show for seeding valuable items in the “locked and unopened” storage lockers they bid on. (http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/2012/12/11/torage-wars-star-dave-hester-says-show-is-fake-suing-report-says/)

TLC’s new show, Amish Mafia, is actually a “recreation” using actors, although the network claims the stories are real. (http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/abc-blogs/amish-mafia-taking-care-business-amish-country-135820402–abc-news-tv.html)

TruTV, ironically, airs all kinds of “reality television,” but they are so far from reality that they had to make up yet another term. Now Operation Repo is known as “Actuality.” And yes, Operation Repo is scripted. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Repo)

Breaking Amish featured one cast member who was not Amish, and another who was not what she claimed at all. (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/22/breaking-amish-rebecca-divorced-video_n_1999071.html)

I was watching an episode of Storage Wars Texas, which is a Storage Wars spinoff, when I saw the following scene. A cast member bid on and won a locker. He went inside to see what he bought but there was a large screen in the middle blocking the rest of the locker. He went up to it and peered through one of the slats and a huge grin crossed his face and he yelped for joy. There was something good in there, of course. So what was the problem? It was filmed from the reverse angle. In other words, we saw him open the slats and grin from the other side of the screen, from a camera angle from the back of the locker. There was already a camera in the back of the locker set up to get that shot! And “set up” is the right term. Obviously the producers and directors and camera men and the bidder too knew what was in the locker and worked to create the best shot they could. So where is the reality?

I’ve written a lot about so-called reality television, predominately American Chopper, but I also recapped a full season (the only season) of Scrappers. I live in the exact area where that show was filmed and took a lot of nonsense from people writing in to defend the “reality” of the show. (https://bmj2k.com/2010/09/23/scrappers-mail-letters-from-people-who-love-scrappers-and-hate-me/) Trust me, I know what was fake on that show.

Then there is Hardcore Pawn, a show I wrote about once and only once yet is one of my most popular blogs. (https://bmj2k.com/2011/07/18/my-review-of-hardcore-pawn/) One of the most popular searches that lead people to it is “why do they always wear the same clothes?” The answer is because the show is heavily edited. What looks like happens in one day really often takes place over weeks and weeks. They need to wear the same clothes during filming so you don’t notice the editing. Do they get a lot of weird people? Yes they do. But their producers search out many more to come in.

Long Island Medium is a classic fake, with a scam whose history goes back centuries yet people still fall for it. Do just a little research, you can do what she does with a fair bit of success yourself. I’ve done it, you can be a medium too.  (https://bmj2k.com/2011/10/24/my-review-of-long-island-medium-3/)

Watch any Real Housewives– they are all acting for the camera. Situations are clearly and obviously set up. Most reality shows look fake because they are fake. Period.

Somehow even The Apprentice, a show I wrote about many, many times and I am sure I will write about many more, is called reality television. How? (https://bmj2k.com/2012/10/17/the-celebrity-apprentice-all-stars/)

Deadliest Catch is the show I consider closest to reality. The job is so dangerous anyone would be insane to let the producers direct the action, and the captains have too much money on the line to allow it. But a show like that is also heavily edited, and much of the personal drama amped up and exaggerated.

So I for one am glad that American Chopper is over. Am I biting the hand that feeds me? No, I never hid my disdain for that show. But if anyone writes to this blog again defending anyone on reality television again, I want you to include your latest medical reports because you must be nuts.

American Chopper: THE END

17 Dec

December 18, 2012

One last time, check back as I update this blog as the show, and the series, draws to a close.

series finale reallyAmerican Chopper (Season 9)
The End
Senior, Junior and Mikey make a lasting impression by donating the TEUTUL Bike.   Senior pulls one last prank and the threesome takes a raucous ride through the most dramatic  and defining moments of American Chopper.

One last prank. They really are going out with a whimper. The pranks on this show have almost always been lame or embarrassing. I think the biggest prank has been on the viewers. Well, at least Mikey is back. I can’t wait to hear how many finger paintings he’s sold.

This is going to be a clip show and I generally don’t like clip shows. I skip them, but not this week.

Look at Senior from ten years ago- he was huge back then. Sorta like how Mark McGuire was huge…

The show opens with Paulie, Senior, and Mikey (back for the finale) looking back on the past. The first bike they built? The Jet Bike.

Jet bike

Jet bike

Senior said (complained) that discovery showed all the screaming and yelling “things you don’t want people to see.” NOTE TO SENIOR: If you didn’t want people to see it, you shouldn’t have done it.

The focus shifts to Mikey, who has some nice things to say about his father. WTF? Last time we saw him, he had zero nice to say about him and wouldn’t even face him. Maybe since the show is over he feels he can step out of character?

Senior: “We did corporate bikes and what they got was a 42 minute commercial.” This may be the most honest thing he has ever said.

The next montage is of Senior in psychotic mode, driving his car through walls, tossing a sofa out the window- but safety first! At least he wore a helmet.

Remember the very first episode of american Chopper? Wow, how things have changed.

Remember the very first episode of American Chopper? Wow, how things have changed.

9:17: The show highlight! Senior wipes out on a surfboard.

They next had a montage of celebrities that came to OCC for a custom bike. I mean that Discovery set up.

And of course fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight.

Senior: “Looking back some things you wish you didn’t do.”
But even better, he said “it’s pretty obvious I didn’t care how I came off on TV or I would have changed it.”

And he said “I’m not too good with words.” True dat.

(In a clip) Senior: “My outbursts aren’t good for morale.”
Rick: “Yeah, it kind of sucks.”

At 9:30 came the PIVOTAL breaking stuff and blowing stuff up montage.

Senior: “We had a basement full of doors because we broke them all the time.”

When talking about firing Paulie, he said that all the stress was causing his health to fail, and after he fired Paulie he got healthy again. No comment.

BLAST FROM THE PAST #1Whatchoo gonna do? Vrooom!

BLAST FROM THE PAST #1
Whatchoo gonna do? Vrooom!

duo

BLAST FROM THE PAST #2
Separated at birth?

At 9:43 they showed what was probably Paulie’s lowest point- unsuccessfully pitching a line of PJD dog toys.

Paulie: “Me and my father have no business working together.”

Meanwhile, here is Mikey hugging and joking with his father. Why? Because Paulie is talking with Senior again. Mikey is a follower. Always was, always will be.

The Teutul bike got donated to a museum because, you know, it is that important. “I think people will like to see it,” Senior said.

The show ends with everyone from the show riding off into the sunset.

And from me, thank you for reading this blog, week in and week out.