Archive | 9:06 pm

American Chopper: The Last Build SERIES FINALE

3 Dec

December 3, 2012

I’ll be updating this blog every few minutes, so keep checking back.

series finale

American Chopper (Season 9)
The Last Build
In the series finale, the crews are under pressure to finish the 911, GAF and Venetian bikes. Cody goes after OCC with a revengeful prank as Chopper Live draws near. Sr and Jr find common ground in their relationship but are at odds over the new company.

This is not quite the end. There is still the 2-part build-off next week, which I will recap as usual. After that, not far down the line, I’ll do a short retrospective/recap of my coverage of the series, which I invite you all to jump in on and leave some comments.

And now, on with the show.

This week starts exactly where last week ended. (Jason: “I’m a real life industrial designer!” STILL FUNNY!)

“We had a good time with the R+D. We were able to blow stuff up.” -Senior, talking about last week’s outing to the shed shop, or whatever it was they were plugging last week.

This episode promises: Pranks, arguing, and disagreements. Hey, that’s how this show began! Anyway, Senior is frustrate that he and Paulie can’t see eye to eye on the bike. “It is starting to being back some of those old feelings… I’m at work at 7, he doesn’t come in until 11.” -Senior, and again, he said that way back in season one as well. anyway, for some strange reason, Senior keeps gathering his crew and telling them updates (“nothing is happening”) on the new business with Paulie. Why? Do they care? This has not affected them one bit, but Senior is trying to look good, like he is the victim, like he is the wounded party.

“Every business does business with a contract or agreement so we don’t have these problems.” -Senior
“I feel like I’m losing my mind.”-Paulie

They do a few minutes of the PJD build, a few minutes of the OCC build, then at 9:10 they go back to what every single viewer is dying to see- the preparations for the PJD demolition derby, where they will destroy the prank car OCC gave them last week.

And this was ALMOST IMMEDIATELY after Vinnie explained how little time they have to get the 9/11 bike done, and how fast they have to move on it. I guess Vinnie’s haterd of Senior, his refusal to work at OCC, won’t stop him from going with Cody to destroy two cars in their parking lot.

It wasn’t that impressive.
“It wasn’t the best prank.” -Senior, and he was right. It was pretty lame, despite Discovery editing it to show the same tepid crash six or seven times from about as many angles.

Paulie and Senior did one thing right. They decided to go out to dinner. The catch? No business discussed. Smart. I twent really well, just talking about whatever came to mind, and they both agree that they get along much better when business isn’t involved.

At about the midway point, the oft-ignored Venetian Bike was unveiled in Vegas. The build for this was largely ignored over the past few weeks. It was built by the OCC b-squad, and only rick went to the unveil. I said it before, the Venetian did not its money’s worth. Even Big Ass Fans got more promotion on the show.

Meanwhile, Paulie and the gang loaded up supplies and brought a truckload to Staten Island for disaster relief. I recognized the area.

The Memorial Bike was put back in shape and returned to NYC. Not to be too poetic, but there are worse ways the show could have ended.

As I write this, it is 9:47 and the American Chopper era is coming to an end. Senior is unveiling the GAF bike and there has been no indication that there will not be more shows. It seems that the decision to cancel was made without giving them the chance to do a real series finale. Of course, there are still two more shows, and two more chances to root against Senior in the build-off. While I more or less think that Paulie will win (people hate Senior and Jesse James is an ass) I would not be surprised if Fast N’ Loud won in a sort of passing the torch moment. I’m assuming they will all build bikes this time around, and as usual the vote will come down to a popularity contest.

It is now 9:51, after the break we get the last segment of OCC ever, though I would bet even money on some American Chopper specials down the road.

So how does the show end? At 9:55 Senior goes to PJD to look at the frame for the production bike, which he does not like.

“It doesn’t seem like we are good at doing business together.” -Paulie, right before they agreed to not work together for the sake of the relationship. That’s as close to a happy ending as this show could possibly give.

First World Problems!

3 Dec

December 3, 2012


You’re all familiar with the concept of “First World Problems”, correct?  The common definition is “a frustration or complaint only experienced by privileged individuals in wealthy countries.” This is summed up below thanks to one of my favorite websites,

                       first world problems meme

(I highly recommend this site for some great laughs. Check out Bad Luck Brian – remember him from Uncle Majic post? He’s the kid who unfortunately got raped – Scumbag Steve, and the rest of the memebots!)

 This is the first thing that jumped to my mind when I saw some of the following products. I don’t deny the cleverness of them, or that they solve modern annoyances…..but jeeze, you know? I’m as hard hearted as anyone but even I have limits:


Don’tcha hate it when you slice your pizza and the toppings and cheese slide off?  Well now this problem is solved! Presenting…..PIZZA SCISSORS!!!  A clever combination of scissors and spatula. Having so much food in one dish is such an inconvenience, isn’t it?

 pizza scisssors


This reminds me of South Park, where Starvin’ Marvin goes to the buffet with Cartman:

NO STARVIN’ MARVIN, THAT’S MY POT PIE! AND SO WHAT IF YOU’RE STARVING, I NEED TO KEEP MY PIZZA TOPPINGS ON TOP OF MY SLICE GODDAMMIT!!!  (God help me though, I did order one. I do hate it when my meat stalker supreme falls apart before I can shotgun it like a pelican)


 titanium spork 

Looks pretty harmless you say? Even kinda cute? Yes, and we all have fond memories of eating tater tots (yummy!!) in the school lunchroom. What makes this annoying to me is this is made of titanium. Yes…TITANIUM.

According to Wikipedia entry for titanium: “two most useful properties of the metal form are corrosion resistance and the highest strength-to-weight ratio of any metal. In its unalloyed condition, titanium is as strong as some steels, but 45% lighter.”  You know what titanium is used for? Submarine hulls:





This valuable metal is used to help create the pinnacles of human achievement…….and sporks. FEH.  Sweet meteorite of doom, you can come take us any time now.



individual taco caddy

¿Si molesto cuando su delicioso, carga taco siempre se vuelca, enviando su deliciosa comida que fluye en la placa? Poner un taco en una placa en el lado de it ahora es demasiado inconveniente para nosotros, necesitamos para poner nuestros alimentos en carritos individuales poco pequeñita para que nosotros mismos desfiladero en las comidas de la Inmaculada. Personalmente Limpie mis tacos con “Pledge” antes de comer para conseguir ese brillo de nuevo taco!

4)      BECAUSE PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SHOULD NEVER MIX (or you’re too lazy to wash 2 knives)


Remember the days when we were proud to mix our food?

I prefer this take on it though… 

Now if the PB mixes with the J a second before it hits the bread, we freak out. What a nation of prissypants we’ve become. When I was a kid I used to make PB&J by scooping it out with my hands and I survived. ( I REGRET NOTHING!!!!!!! But don’t tell my parents, they’d be pretty fouled out to know)



 lazy glasses


Glasses that allow us to read, watch porn, or play video games while laying flat on our backs.  We’re officially too lazy to even sit up to watch TV anymore. You know what’s next?

(apologies for the awful clip quality)

South Park, Family Guy AND Simpsons clips? I hit the trifecta this week!

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