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American Chopper: THE END

17 Dec

December 18, 2012

One last time, check back as I update this blog as the show, and the series, draws to a close.

series finale reallyAmerican Chopper (Season 9)
The End
Senior, Junior and Mikey make a lasting impression by donating the TEUTUL Bike.   Senior pulls one last prank and the threesome takes a raucous ride through the most dramatic  and defining moments of American Chopper.

One last prank. They really are going out with a whimper. The pranks on this show have almost always been lame or embarrassing. I think the biggest prank has been on the viewers. Well, at least Mikey is back. I can’t wait to hear how many finger paintings he’s sold.

This is going to be a clip show and I generally don’t like clip shows. I skip them, but not this week.

Look at Senior from ten years ago- he was huge back then. Sorta like how Mark McGuire was huge…

The show opens with Paulie, Senior, and Mikey (back for the finale) looking back on the past. The first bike they built? The Jet Bike.

Jet bike

Jet bike

Senior said (complained) that discovery showed all the screaming and yelling “things you don’t want people to see.” NOTE TO SENIOR: If you didn’t want people to see it, you shouldn’t have done it.

The focus shifts to Mikey, who has some nice things to say about his father. WTF? Last time we saw him, he had zero nice to say about him and wouldn’t even face him. Maybe since the show is over he feels he can step out of character?

Senior: “We did corporate bikes and what they got was a 42 minute commercial.” This may be the most honest thing he has ever said.

The next montage is of Senior in psychotic mode, driving his car through walls, tossing a sofa out the window- but safety first! At least he wore a helmet.

Remember the very first episode of american Chopper? Wow, how things have changed.

Remember the very first episode of American Chopper? Wow, how things have changed.

9:17: The show highlight! Senior wipes out on a surfboard.

They next had a montage of celebrities that came to OCC for a custom bike. I mean that Discovery set up.

And of course fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight after fight.

Senior: “Looking back some things you wish you didn’t do.”
But even better, he said “it’s pretty obvious I didn’t care how I came off on TV or I would have changed it.”

And he said “I’m not too good with words.” True dat.

(In a clip) Senior: “My outbursts aren’t good for morale.”
Rick: “Yeah, it kind of sucks.”

At 9:30 came the PIVOTAL breaking stuff and blowing stuff up montage.

Senior: “We had a basement full of doors because we broke them all the time.”

When talking about firing Paulie, he said that all the stress was causing his health to fail, and after he fired Paulie he got healthy again. No comment.

BLAST FROM THE PAST #1Whatchoo gonna do? Vrooom!

Whatchoo gonna do? Vrooom!


Separated at birth?

At 9:43 they showed what was probably Paulie’s lowest point- unsuccessfully pitching a line of PJD dog toys.

Paulie: “Me and my father have no business working together.”

Meanwhile, here is Mikey hugging and joking with his father. Why? Because Paulie is talking with Senior again. Mikey is a follower. Always was, always will be.

The Teutul bike got donated to a museum because, you know, it is that important. “I think people will like to see it,” Senior said.

The show ends with everyone from the show riding off into the sunset.

And from me, thank you for reading this blog, week in and week out.

Fun With Teh Internets: CRYING KIDS WITH SANTA

17 Dec

December 17, 2012


He sees you when you’re sleeping…..he’s kinda creepy actually.

Bringing your children to see Santa Claus is a time-honored tradition. The kids wait with breathless anticipation for the chance to rattle off all the toys they want Santy to bring them : A pony, a football, a Red Ryder BB Gun, a dollie, some Dockers, an Ipad, a crossbow, Knicks season tickets, a subscription to  The Economist, and the complete Sanford and Son on Blu-Ray (these are some interesting kids!)

What can be more American than that? How heartwarming, how heartstring-tugging. How cute! So of course, since I’m a dirtbag, we’re going in the total opposite direction. BAZINGA!

Fun With Teh Internets:  CRYING KIDS WITH SANTA

1) 1



Mom, forgive me but I HAVE to comment here. This poor child is not only being scarred for life, but he looks an awful lot like Don Knotts:




She’s crying because this is a pathetic attempt at being a Santa. HINT: Just because you may have a beard already doesn’t excuse you from wearing a REAL FAKE beard. And put on the red suit also will ya? God, put a little effort into it man


5) 2

Looks like SOMEONE is getting a visit from the ghost of Christmas future! (PS- A Christmas Carol absolutely sucks, unless it’s the Mr. Magoo version, or Captain Picard is starring in it)

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