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Tag Archives: garbage

Survivor-Man Me?

8 Feb

February 8, 2018

Let me tell you what I was wearing. Not because I think you’ll get a thrill out of it, but because it is relevant to the story.

Blue sweat pants. Brown slip-on Skechers that I say are trendy and Saarah says are not. No socks. An old, thin green worn out t-shirt that is only good for wearing around the house. A winter coat.

That’s quite an ensemble and no, I was not on my to the Queen’s Ball. I was outside throwing out the trash. It was midnight and about 25 degrees outside. (That’s degrees Fahrenheit, not that Celsius nonsense. Celsius is just a scam perpetuated by the big mercury conglomerates to make us buy new thermometers.)

Does the dude in this stock photo look cold? He just looks creepy to me.

I walked around the side of my building to where the garbage cans are and put my trash in one of the already full cans so that my bag was precariously balanced atop a mountain of who knows what. I’m pretty sure that my building’s super empties these cans once in a while, but then again, what do I know? They never seem to get any emptier. (Yet they never get any fuller either. Maybe he empties just enough to keep the status quo.)

So, mission accomplished, I was walking back around the building when there was a gust of wind and I realized just how poorly I was dressed for the weather. Good thing I was only going to be outside for a minute or two and had a warm home to go back to.

But what if I didn’t? What if I were homeless?

Dressed as I was, was I prepared to survive a night of sudden homelessness?

I was already feeling a chill in my toes and since I wasn’t wearing socks my feet weren’t particularly comfortable to begin with.  So if I was forced to spend a night outdoors, braving the elements, how would I handle it?

My first worry was about frostbite. My hands I could jam in my jacket pockets, but with no socks my toes were an obvious frostbite target. I could probably tear up my shirt and wrap my feet in the cloth, then jam them into my shoes. But then I’d be shirtless (calm down ladies). Well, I was wearing a winter coat so I could zip it all the way up. My head was bare and my jacket didn’t have a hood. Maybe I could save some of the ripped t-shirt to wrap around my head like a bandanna to protect my ears from frostbite. Nothing I could do about my legs. The wind blew right through the sweatpants.

I had to face the fact that I was barely dressed to survive the minute and a half I’d be out in the winter, there was no way I’d survive overnight.

It was one thing to toss out the trash dressed that way, but I’d have to prepare better if I were to live outside.

If I were ever really homeless, I’d somehow make my way down to Florida. It’s much easier to be homeless in the winter laying on Miami Beach than it is here on Coney Island Beach.

That’s the life!

Being homeless on the beach does have some perks.

 

 

 

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Sesame Street Is A Dump

11 Feb

February 11, 2014

Like pretty much all of us, I grew up on Sesame Street. Because of that show I can count, I can read, I can spell, I can live a garbage can like Oscar the Grouch. So what did I learn from public school? How to cut class.

But I recently had opportunity (I was bored) to watch a very, very old episode from Sesame Street’s second season in 1970. Wow, the 70’s were a very different time. And Sesame Street? Full of trash. It was a total pigsty!

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Ok, you expect some trash when one of the main characters is a filthy green hobo, but this is excessive. What’s with all the burlap? What’s with all the crates? I don’t get it. But it gets worse.

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Look at the ground- there is trash everywhere! Under the mailbox, piled up by the newsstand, all around the people’s feet. Doesn’t anyone on the block have a broom?

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Look at the background, behind the cool cat- more crates! What is in all these boxes just scattered around? And Bert and Ernie are standing in front of an old shipping pallet. Are there a lot of warehouses on Sesame Street?

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And that wall in the back- filthy and full of soot. Is that a foundry? A rendering plant? A smelter? I hope none of kids picked up black lung disease. (BTW- that is not a flattering picture of Big Bird.)

Since then, Sesame Street has gotten a lot cleaner. I think it was some sort of federal government urban renewal project.

All this is proof, I think, that Sesame Street is in New York. NYC was pretty dirty back in the 70’s too.

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