Tag Archives: Coast to Coast AM

Lying Awake With John Newly #11: Off-Topic

16 Jun

June 16, 2016

 

ANNOUNCER: This is Lying Awake with John Newly. Lying Awake airs seven nights a week from midnight to 5 am. This hour is sponsored by Markham Pharmaceuticals. And now, here’s your host, John Newly.

JOHN NEWLY: Hi! This is Lying Awake with John Newly and I’m proud to say that yes, that’s me, I’m John Newly. Always have been! And I always will be, thanks to Markham Pharmaceuticals. I’ve been taking their proprietary blend of cutting edge health products since they sponsored me last Tuesday, and let me tell you, my bowels have definitely noticed. We’ll be back after these words.

PROMO for WKAT charity tuxedo steaming. Have your tuxedo steamed to benefit feline fur loss.

COMMERCIAL for Big Bob Briscoe’s Breakfast Buffet and Car Wash. Free Eggs Benedict with every wash.

HAARP

JOHN NEWLY: And we’re back. Hello! In the studio with me is Monty McAndrews, noted oceanographer and researcher. We’ve been discussing his theory about the Loch Ness Monster and all sorts of ocean mysteries. Monty, the ocean is pretty salty, right? I once swallowed some seawater at the beach and it made me sick.

GUEST: That’s right. Most of the world’s bodies of water have rather high salinity counts.

JOHN NEWLY: You know, Inger Montenegro believes that the oceans were salted by ancient astronauts.

GUEST: Well John, we actually know quite a lot about the chemical composition of sea water and scientists have traced-

JOHN NEWLY: Wow, that’s great. Let’s go to the phones. Donny from Idaho, you’re first up on Lying Awake. Go ahead!

CALLER: Hi John.

JOHN NEWLY: Go ahead!

CALLER: Um, yeah. Hey, I was watching the Discovery Channel once. This was a lot of years ago.  And-

JOHN NEWLY: Monty? Do you watch the Discovery Channel?

GUEST: I’ve appeared on their network quite often, actually.

JOHN NEWLY: Man, that Shark Week is something. I bet for a guy in your field that’s like Christmas.

GUEST: I suppose, for some researchers, but sharks aren’t really my interest.

JOHN NEWLY: I bet they would be if you were swimming! Ha ha, let’s go back to the phones. Miranda from New York, you’re on with me, John Newly.

CALLER:  It’s still me, Donny. I want to ask a question.

JOHN NEWLY: Oh, I thought you did. Well, go ahead.

CALLER: Thanks. I was watching the Discovery Channel and-

Creature-From-The-Black-Lagoon-classic

JOHN NEWLY: Donny, we’re running out of time. We’re up against the clock. We’ve only a couple of minutes left. Fast Eddie? He’s my producer. Fast Eddie? How much time do we have left? Can you check?

(Indistinct)

JOHN NEWLY: That little? OK. Caller, please get to your question quickly so we have time to answer it before the commercial break. Go ahead, time is short. We want to be able to get you in. So go ahead. But remember- short!

CALLER: There was this submarine crew and they filmed way down deep. They saw just a hand. The camera didn’t capture the rest of it, just a hand. It looked like a webbed hand with claws. They tried to follow it but it passed by or swam by way too fast. Does your guest know about that? Is a thing like that possible? It looked like the gill man from the movie the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

JOHN NEWLY: I’ll give our guest, Monty McAndrews, a chance to answer, but Monty, I have to warn you, that there isn’t much time. Very little time. So how about Donny’s question? Creature from the Black Lagoon. Was that a great film or what?

GUEST: Well, I haven’t seen it in a long time.

JOHN NEWLY: Thanks for your call Donny. Monty, I love those old movies.

NOTE: THIS WAS BASED ON AN ACTUAL EXCHANGE FROM COAST TO COAST AM WITH GEORGE NOORY.

 

Click the PARANORMAL-ISH button above for more John Newly!

 

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Newly News (Lying Awake With John Newly #9)

1 May

May 1, 2015

Strange Theremin music plays in the background and continues for 45 long seconds. Music fades.

ANNOUNCER: This is Lying Awake with John Newly. Lying Awake airs seven nights a week across the country and spans the globe via the internet. Here’s your host, John Newly.

Hello, hi, and how are you? This is Lying Awake with John Newly and I’m John Newly, and you’re listening to Lying Awake with me, John Newly.There’s a lot going on in the news and we’ll jump right in to the big stories of the day, right after this.

-Commercial for Albert Moss Prepared Gourmet Survival Meals and Fine Wines.

-Promo for WKAT-AM charity Bootblack Blowout and BBQ Brunch. Bootblacks will be on hand to blacken your boots and baste your BBQ for a small donation.

ANNOUNCER: We’re back with more Lying Awake with John Newly. Here’s John Newly.

Radio_Times_5_Dec_1954

OK, let’s get right to today’s top headlines from around the country and around the world and even around the cosmos. NASA says that a meteor will pass so close to the Earth this week that it will actually be closer to Earth than the moon. With me now is our Lying Awake science professor-at-large, William C. Bogey. William, should we be alarmed about this meteor hitting the Earth?

-Hello John. Let me tell you and the audience that NASA has been LYING TO YOU! There is NO meteor heading for Earth! This is all a plot to cover up the secret alien moon bases. They’re distracting us with all this meteor nonsense to keep us from talking about the real space discoveries, like the cowboy hat the Mars rover photographed last week, or the fossilized painting of William Shatner that Neil Armstrong found on the moon. There are alien bases all over the solar system and let me tell all your listeners, John, that NASA will NEVER tell you the truth!

Wow, I always learn something new when we have William C. Bogey on. You can find his website at BigWillieStyle.com. Also in the news, a new study shows that that eating too much sugary candy can be bad for you. On the line is nutritionist Zelda Rumstock. Zelda, is it true what they say, that too much sugary candy can be bad for you?

-Yes.

In Missouri, a man panning for gold in a lake behind his house found something better than gold. He found a fossil of a rare clam. Gosh, I wonder if there was a whole prehistoric seafood dinner down there. Wouldn’t that be something? You can see all the pictures on our website. LyingAwakeOnline.com. While you’re there, take a look at my tour schedule. Next week, I’m going to be in Osaka Japan, Alberta Canada, The Falkland Islands, and someplace called “update your passport.” Oh, that’s a note to myself.

Coming up in our second hour, my guest will be Otto Mullich, a professor of psychology who claims that he has perfected the safest way to travel beneath the ocean without using expensive and bulky submarines. I’ll be back after the break. I’m John Newly and this is Lying Awake with John Newly.

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