Advertisements
Tag Archives: In Search of

Lying Awake With John Newly #11: Off-Topic

16 Jun

June 16, 2016

 

ANNOUNCER: This is Lying Awake with John Newly. Lying Awake airs seven nights a week from midnight to 5 am. This hour is sponsored by Markham Pharmaceuticals. And now, here’s your host, John Newly.

JOHN NEWLY: Hi! This is Lying Awake with John Newly and I’m proud to say that yes, that’s me, I’m John Newly. Always have been! And I always will be, thanks to Markham Pharmaceuticals. I’ve been taking their proprietary blend of cutting edge health products since they sponsored me last Tuesday, and let me tell you, my bowels have definitely noticed. We’ll be back after these words.

PROMO for WKAT charity tuxedo steaming. Have your tuxedo steamed to benefit feline fur loss.

COMMERCIAL for Big Bob Briscoe’s Breakfast Buffet and Car Wash. Free Eggs Benedict with every wash.

HAARP

JOHN NEWLY: And we’re back. Hello! In the studio with me is Monty McAndrews, noted oceanographer and researcher. We’ve been discussing his theory about the Loch Ness Monster and all sorts of ocean mysteries. Monty, the ocean is pretty salty, right? I once swallowed some seawater at the beach and it made me sick.

GUEST: That’s right. Most of the world’s bodies of water have rather high salinity counts.

JOHN NEWLY: You know, Inger Montenegro believes that the oceans were salted by ancient astronauts.

GUEST: Well John, we actually know quite a lot about the chemical composition of sea water and scientists have traced-

JOHN NEWLY: Wow, that’s great. Let’s go to the phones. Donny from Idaho, you’re first up on Lying Awake. Go ahead!

CALLER: Hi John.

JOHN NEWLY: Go ahead!

CALLER: Um, yeah. Hey, I was watching the Discovery Channel once. This was a lot of years ago.  And-

JOHN NEWLY: Monty? Do you watch the Discovery Channel?

GUEST: I’ve appeared on their network quite often, actually.

JOHN NEWLY: Man, that Shark Week is something. I bet for a guy in your field that’s like Christmas.

GUEST: I suppose, for some researchers, but sharks aren’t really my interest.

JOHN NEWLY: I bet they would be if you were swimming! Ha ha, let’s go back to the phones. Miranda from New York, you’re on with me, John Newly.

CALLER:  It’s still me, Donny. I want to ask a question.

JOHN NEWLY: Oh, I thought you did. Well, go ahead.

CALLER: Thanks. I was watching the Discovery Channel and-

Creature-From-The-Black-Lagoon-classic

JOHN NEWLY: Donny, we’re running out of time. We’re up against the clock. We’ve only a couple of minutes left. Fast Eddie? He’s my producer. Fast Eddie? How much time do we have left? Can you check?

(Indistinct)

JOHN NEWLY: That little? OK. Caller, please get to your question quickly so we have time to answer it before the commercial break. Go ahead, time is short. We want to be able to get you in. So go ahead. But remember- short!

CALLER: There was this submarine crew and they filmed way down deep. They saw just a hand. The camera didn’t capture the rest of it, just a hand. It looked like a webbed hand with claws. They tried to follow it but it passed by or swam by way too fast. Does your guest know about that? Is a thing like that possible? It looked like the gill man from the movie the Creature from the Black Lagoon.

JOHN NEWLY: I’ll give our guest, Monty McAndrews, a chance to answer, but Monty, I have to warn you, that there isn’t much time. Very little time. So how about Donny’s question? Creature from the Black Lagoon. Was that a great film or what?

GUEST: Well, I haven’t seen it in a long time.

JOHN NEWLY: Thanks for your call Donny. Monty, I love those old movies.

NOTE: THIS WAS BASED ON AN ACTUAL EXCHANGE FROM COAST TO COAST AM WITH GEORGE NOORY.

 

Click the PARANORMAL-ISH button above for more John Newly!

 

Advertisements

In Search of… Ghosts

3 May

May 3, 2015

in search of ghosts

In  the realm of the paranormal, ghosts are the average, garden-variety cryptoid. They are not mythic, like the Loch Ness Monster, nor are they the cause of mass hysteria, like UFOs. And Sasquatch is much, much sexier, with its come-hither eyes. Ghosts are an afterthought, In fact, in the  family of psychical research, ghosts are the sheet wearing little brother. But are they real? Do they exist? Can I as an unpaid blogger, make money off them? Let’s find out.

The first ghost

It has to be assumed that the first ghost was probably the first dead caveman. Unless you think that dinosaur ghosts existed, and wouldn’t they be extinct anyway? That’s a question for sillier minds than mine. Anyway, the first cavemen was probably a very confused soul, pun very much intended. Maybe not funny, but intended.

DYING CAVEMAN: Oook! Ook ook! Ack! (Dies)

And that’s it. Since there were no other caveman ghosts to tell him to go to the light, he probably ended up wandering the world for the rest of time. He’s probably in your house right now, trying to make fire in your toilet. (Watch out.)

dead barney rubble

Ghosts of the Classic Era

When was the Classic Era? This author dates if from 1941 to 1971, the dates of publication of Classic Comics. Ironically, Classic Comics only published one ghost story. (A Christmas Carol.)

The most interesting and well-documented ghost story to come out of this era was undoubtedly 13 Ghosts. This is the true story of a man named Zorba who inherited a house haunted by- wait for it- 13 ghosts, in 3D. For some reason, one of the ghost was a headless lion tamer and his lion, which inexplicably did not count as two ghosts. Did the circus ever stop by this house? The catch was that ghost hunters wishing to explore the haunted house could only see the ghosts with the aid of special glasses which were only sold in theaters. This made it difficult for legitimate researchers to search for ghosts since they rarely had time off during the day to stop by the theater. Well-known ghost hunter Martin Milner, knowing that a fortune was hidden in the house, tried to swindle Zorba by wearing a rubber mask. (This case certainly lacked the thrills of the Amityville Horror.) By sheer coincidence, Martin Milner went on to star in a movie called 13 Ghosts, a children’s film about haunted numbers.

13 ghosts phooey

Civil War Ghosts

These are the lost souls of the 173rd Ghost Regiment, the only group of fighting ghosts in the entire war.

So get to it. Are ghosts real?

Um sure, why not?

To learn more about ghosts, stop by your local cemetery and spent the night there. Kids, always get your parents permission before fooling around with the supernatural.

%d bloggers like this: