Tag Archives: newspaper comics

The Saturday Comics: The Phantom Gets Good!

29 Dec

December 29, 2017

Let’s end the year by checking back in on one of the classics. It is the Phantom, a comic character from the Golden Age created by Lee Falk. He’s “The Ghost Who Walks,” but basically just a guy in a suit who fights crime. He’s the latest in a family line of crime-fighters to use that name. When we last checked in back in 2011, there was literally nothing going on. For an entire week nothing happened. And I mean that exactly as it sounds. Let’s go back and see, then we’ll check in with the strip today and see what’s up.

UPDATED from April 16, 2011DAY ONE:

OK, I get it. I came in at the end of an adventure. It looks like a happy ending. It is actually a good thing I came in now so I can enjoy the start of a whole new story tomorrow. Looking forward to it.

DAY TWO:

Well, that’s nice. Sort of the same thing as yesterday though. And it seems a bit of a waste, story-wise, to do it in one big splash but I guess it gets the emotion across. OK, let’s see where this goes tomorrow.

DAY THREE:

What the? What’s the point of this? Is the next arc about haircuts? If this were a play I could almost hear the stage manager hissing “vamp!” while the star desperately searches for her line. This is ridiculous, the big splash yesterday should have ended the arc. I’m getting a bit tired of this, hopefully things will move ahead tomorrow.

DAY FOUR:

Um, Ok. More wasting time. Maybe they haven’t hammered out the next script yet and just tossed this in? I can’t figure out a purpose to this strip, unless it is to reinforce their dedication to fighting evil? This isn’t much of a superhero strip, it is more like a bad show on the religious station with Kirk Cameron. I’m not hopeful for tomorrow.

DAY FIVE:

Ahh, now we’re getting somewhere.

DAY SIX:Huh? Where’s The Phantom? And isn’t that the guy who was supposed to be in jail? Who are these people? I sat through almost a week for this? That strip could have been told in three panels. And re-read the second panel. “Colonel Weeks met the unknown commander.” “Worubu doubts it.” There is a verb tense problem there, and I’m usually not that picky outside of a grammar blog but that is really annoying to read. I really hope The Phantom picks up but I’m losing hope.

DAY SEVEN:

UGH! Back to that? It’s like the Sunday strip exists in a different timeline, and maybe it might. Many strips do a separate storyline on Sundays because some papers only run the Sunday strips. So I can follow the annoying story on Sunday, or follow the slow and boring story during the week, or maybe wait and see if indeed that Sunday strip is part of the same story as the weekly though it doesn’t seem to be.

DAY EIGHT:

To Hell with The Phantom. Popeye never fails. I got more out of that strip than an entire week of The Phantom. And why not? It looks like they are running a classic Sagendorf strip.

That Phantom run may have been the worst week of a comic strip that I have ever read, and that’s coming from someone who read comics written and drawn by Rob Liefeld so you know I’ve read some bad comics. The artist of this strip, Paul Ryan, was the artist on one of my favorite runs of the Fantastic Four so this hurts all the more.

DECEMBER 2017 UPDATE!

Here are the current strips from Monday December 25 to Thursday, December 28: 

Whoa, what happened? First, you might notice a change in the art. Comic book veteran Mike Manley (another favorite artist, and cool name- “Manley”-) has taken over from Paul Ryan, who died in 2016. The strip looks great. I have to give credit to the colorist too. The explosion on day two really pops. But most notably,  the writing is top notch. It zips along! There’s action! I want to know what happens next. And look at the bad guy. Despite not knowing what the plot of the story is, I feel I know all I need to know about him at this point. As a new reader I’m already drawn into the action and fairly knowledgeable about the characters. Did they change the writer, you may be wondering? Nope, it is still Tony DePaul. So maybe the 2011 run was an aberration? Or maybe he simply improved. Either way, this week’s strip is a winner. I deliberately left out the Friday strip. And that’s today (as of the date of this posts publication) so go over to comicskingdom.com and see where this story is headed. I know I will!  

 

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Return Of The Snappy Answers To Silly Newser Headlines (May 2015)

23 May

May 23, 2015

Today, The Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride (Home of the Partially Humorous Post) would like to honor Superfan Edna DeWitt, of Pinesdale Montana. Ms. DeWitt earned Superfan status by sending to us, on 30 consecutive days in April, 30 unsubscribe requests. That’s the kind of dedication we admire. In her honor, we will consider acknowledging her request sometime in the future.

Once again, we check in on Newser.com, whose status as a legitimate news site is at least as dubious as ours.

newser01

Poop Raining From Sky Ruins Girl’s Sweet 16.
Philadelphia family suspects feces came from a plane.

“Suspects?” “Suspects” feces came from a plane? What else could it be, a giant incontinent condor? There’s that old saying, that “when it rains it pours.” Thank God it didn’t happen in this case or I can only imagine what might have come pouring out of the sky on this not-so-sweet 16.

newser02

Snakes Used To Have Ankles.
Ancestor likely had little toes too.

I have a feeling that John Johnson (if that is his real name) has a bit of a fetish. For some reason he focuses on ankles and toes when (and I read the story) the bigger, scarier, and real story is that they had legs. Not just ankles and toes connected to nothing, but legs, which makes the whole idea of snakes on a plane that much worse. “I have had it with these mf-ing snakes with their mf-ing legs on this mf-ing plane!” If snakes still had legs the jig would be up for humanity, although I think that some enterprising sneaker executive could make some cash on it. But snakes with ankles, shapely, curvy ankles, and cute little, alluring toes, that’s the writer’s take on this story, Sheesh.

newser03

“Exciting” New Rabies Strain Found In New Mexico.
It was discovered after rabid fox bit woman.

I can just imagine that woman’s excitement when, after a painful round of rabies treatment, the doctors informed her that she was infected with a new strain of the potentially fatal disease. Yup, and I’m sure the excitement grew even greater when she had to undergo even more painful injections and invasive tests to identify the new strain. I’m just sorry that I wasn’t invited to her party, complete with clowns, cake, and vaccines.

newser04

Latest Target of Kim Jong Un’s Wrath: Failed Lobster Breeders.
Says terrapin farm may “impair prestige” of Korean Worker’s Party.

Because nothing else going on in North Korea could negatively impact their international prestige like a lobster breeding farm gone wrong.

I just don’t see how a lobster breeding farm could possibly fail, as lobsters are well-known as the randiest creatures in the sea.

I think this is how the Roman Empire fell.

newser05

Miley Croons Sad Ballad to Her Dead Blowfish.
While dressed as a unicorn.

Well of course! What else should I have expected? I mean besides almost anything else. I am eagerly looking forward to her next ballad about all the sad lobsters in that failed lobster breeding farm.

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