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Tag Archives: Richard C. Hoagland

Newly News (Lying Awake With John Newly #9)

1 May

May 1, 2015

Strange Theremin music plays in the background and continues for 45 long seconds. Music fades.

ANNOUNCER: This is Lying Awake with John Newly. Lying Awake airs seven nights a week across the country and spans the globe via the internet. Here’s your host, John Newly.

Hello, hi, and how are you? This is Lying Awake with John Newly and I’m John Newly, and you’re listening to Lying Awake with me, John Newly.There’s a lot going on in the news and we’ll jump right in to the big stories of the day, right after this.

-Commercial for Albert Moss Prepared Gourmet Survival Meals and Fine Wines.

-Promo for WKAT-AM charity Bootblack Blowout and BBQ Brunch. Bootblacks will be on hand to blacken your boots and baste your BBQ for a small donation.

ANNOUNCER: We’re back with more Lying Awake with John Newly. Here’s John Newly.

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OK, let’s get right to today’s top headlines from around the country and around the world and even around the cosmos. NASA says that a meteor will pass so close to the Earth this week that it will actually be closer to Earth than the moon. With me now is our Lying Awake science professor-at-large, William C. Bogey. William, should we be alarmed about this meteor hitting the Earth?

-Hello John. Let me tell you and the audience that NASA has been LYING TO YOU! There is NO meteor heading for Earth! This is all a plot to cover up the secret alien moon bases. They’re distracting us with all this meteor nonsense to keep us from talking about the real space discoveries, like the cowboy hat the Mars rover photographed last week, or the fossilized painting of William Shatner that Neil Armstrong found on the moon. There are alien bases all over the solar system and let me tell all your listeners, John, that NASA will NEVER tell you the truth!

Wow, I always learn something new when we have William C. Bogey on. You can find his website at BigWillieStyle.com. Also in the news, a new study shows that that eating too much sugary candy can be bad for you. On the line is nutritionist Zelda Rumstock. Zelda, is it true what they say, that too much sugary candy can be bad for you?

-Yes.

In Missouri, a man panning for gold in a lake behind his house found something better than gold. He found a fossil of a rare clam. Gosh, I wonder if there was a whole prehistoric seafood dinner down there. Wouldn’t that be something? You can see all the pictures on our website. LyingAwakeOnline.com. While you’re there, take a look at my tour schedule. Next week, I’m going to be in Osaka Japan, Alberta Canada, The Falkland Islands, and someplace called “update your passport.” Oh, that’s a note to myself.

Coming up in our second hour, my guest will be Otto Mullich, a professor of psychology who claims that he has perfected the safest way to travel beneath the ocean without using expensive and bulky submarines. I’ll be back after the break. I’m John Newly and this is Lying Awake with John Newly.

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The Bigfoot Lady. You Expect Us To Believe This?

26 Jan

January 26, 2015

I listen to Coast to Coast AM on a fairly regular basis, at least when I am awake. I avoid a lot of the political and conspiracy topics and try to listen to the UFO and paranormal-themed shows.

Recently, guest host Dave Schrader (who is as bad an interviewer as George Noory- man, he lets his guests ramble! – but is far less unintentionally funny) interviewed a woman who moved into, and continued to live in, a home that was under constant Bigfoot attack.

Sound good? Here are some highlights.

  • When she and her husband first saw the house, it was full of holes. The walls, the roof, inside the stove, everywhere. There was some sort of damage (some of it the woman refused to describe) everywhere. It was extensive and the house needed a lot of repair. And still they bought it!
  • The damage was explained by the seller was coming from her foster children, some of whom had emotional issues.
  • The house was the last one in its row, in “a residential area,” yet was directly across from a “dark and creepy” forest.
  • Strange sounds came from the forest.
  • There were constant sounds of banging and scratching coming from her walls, as if animals were attacking the house.
  • She and her family heard “voices” and saw “peeping toms” outside their windows.
  • Her family’s vehicles were always found with the batteries drained. They believed that they were being used by strange people who lived in the woods and wanted warmth, yet the husband refused to lock the garage since “it was a nice neighborhood.”
  • The woods were, they believed at first, home to odd and dangerous people who lived like animals. Their “kids” (who she later said were 16 and 21!) would leave food in the woods in exchange for their safety.

And all this is before the Bigfoot even enter the story! Eventually she produced “proof”: tapes of alleged Bigfoot howls that could have been either a coyote or a garbage truck, and on the Coast website, a video that showed either a large duck or a small outhouse lurking across the street- seriously, it was a blob-like shadow that was on frame for about 2 seconds. There’s more “proof” on her website, which I won’t name, all of which is about as conclusive.

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And then, in a moment of anguish, she emotionally wailed “I don’t understand why people say Bigfoot isn’t real! Don’t they see all this?” Well, no, all we see is a nut.

Is it fair of me to call her a nut? Decide after this.

She also believes Dog-men live in the woods across the street.

Of course, her neighbors saw nothing, and if you do believe in Bigfoot, her story goes against every other single story or account of Bigfoot ever published, so that not only is she making it all up, but she doesn’t even know what it is she’s making up.

So to recap, her house is regularly attacked by Bigfoot (Bigfeet?) who destroy her home, somehow drain the batteries of her cars, peep in her windows, bang on her walls, scare her at night with their talking, and demand food as tribute. They ripped apart the trees in her backyard and despite all the time they spend on her property, she hasn’t managed- or even tried- to snap a single picture of them.

I’m not sure how the Dog-men fit in, but I bet they are not housebroken.

Has she left?

No she has not. And it has been 3 years.

Her story got more and more ridiculous as the night went on, to the point that a caller did what callers very, very rarely ever do on Coast to Coast: He called the Bigfoot Lady out as a liar and a fraud simply making up a story to sell books (she has two).

Coast to Coast has many guests with outrageous stories, but most of the time, they believe them. They either fall for bad pseudo-science or misinterpret scriptures, or, like the case of Richard C. Hoagland, are just total gullible fools. Until recently, Hoagland was the show’s “scientific advisor.” I guess George Noory had to finally distance himself from that kook after he misidentified one too many Martian rocks as Nike sneakers.

I, and most listeners, get a kick out of those guests, but total liars just bring out the anger. No one likes to be played for a fool.

Which brings me to Dave Schrader. He has his own show, and he recently had this woman on that program. So either he buys her nonsense or simply puts her on for her entertainment value.

The woman still fears for her family, so much so that she has gotten to the point where she, well, does nothing about it.

Ah, late night radio.

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