Fine Dining on the Subway

1 Jun

June 1, 2018

Ah, the subway during rush hour. The crowds, the pushing and shoving, the smells, the body odor, the homeless, the rats, the unidentifiable flecks floating in the air. Doesn’t it make you hungry?

Not me.

I really don’t know how people do it but I see it every day. Just yesterday a woman was sitting in a seat, crowded on all sides, with a series of plastic bags open on her lap and the dirty floor between her feet and from them she was taking the makings of tortillas, which she made and ate while the odor of the homeless guy across from her wafted through the air like mustard gas in World War One. 

But what is even more inconceivable to me, yet I see it more than a few times each week, is the bizarre phenomenon of people taking home pizza on the subway. 

Picture it. Rush hour. Crowds. People pressed together. And someone forces their way on the train carrying a large box that has to be held straight out and flat, taking up the room of two other people. It pokes the already crowded commuters in their backs and gets shoved and wrestled. This happens. I see it a lot. A guy gets on at Union Square in Manhattan and takes a pizza all the way home, 45 minutes, to Bay Parkway. Of course by the time he gets it home it’ll be cold, probably squashed, and it’ll have been traveling through the subway where the air has more rat particles per square inch than an actual rat. Appetizing! And worse, the part of Brooklyn he traveled to with the pizza has more pizzerias than you can shake stick at. There are a dozen within walking distance of my house, no lie. Why not wait until you get home and order a pizza? Fresh and hot! And untainted by the body odor of underground denizens.

So even assuming the pizza from Union Square is the greatest pizza in the known world, after being shaken and crushed on the train, and after getting cold in an hour of travel, and after being exposed to the foul air underground, how good is that pizza going to taste?

Is it worth it?





4 Responses to “Fine Dining on the Subway”

  1. T E Stazyk June 1, 2018 at 12:14 am #

    Are there really rats running around?


    • bmj2k June 1, 2018 at 12:19 pm #

      Not a myth, I see them myself. They are mostly down on the tracks and away form people but they are (fairly rarely) on the platform with the riders and although I have never seen one in the train car, it happens. You can find videos on youtube for more on that. This isn’t to say that I see them
      every day, or even once a week, but how often is too often?


  2. Mac of BIOnighT June 1, 2018 at 8:51 pm #

    It’s been many years now, thank heavens, but every time I went to Milan and got off the subway train, the only thing I wanted was to immerse myself in a tub full of acid to make sure I’d kill all the germs and dirt and spit and hair and dead skin and dust and god knows what else that I got on and inside my body. Food and subway? The very thought makes my stomach react….

    Liked by 1 person

    • bmj2k June 1, 2018 at 8:57 pm #

      Totally agree. People will actually prepare food and even place it (wrapped) on the floor and then eat it. Disgusting.


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