Archive | 12:01 am

Imponderable #27: Olympia Washington

16 Dec

December 16, 2011

Stop right there, this story had me at the headline.

In order to discipline his daughter, a man made his 16 year-old girl to put on medieval armor and engage him in a two-hour sword fight.


I can’t help but think that if the man were a stamp collector the worst his daughter would had was a dry tongue after a marathon session of licking stamps.

The Father of The Year of 1608 was booked on “suspicion of second-degree assault with a deadly weapon.” I’d say that’s an open and shut case.

But aside from the horrible battle/abuse, what is up with all the Renaissance Fair love? Ever been to one? Lots of people saying “thou” and “m’Lord.” People with stupid leather mugs. And OK, maybe the jousting is fun, but you watch it, not perform it. On the other hand, most people are just there to drink beer. And I like going to Medieval Times once every year or two, but would you make every day a visit to a time when the Black Plaque competed with horse manure to see which one was more plentiful?

My only worry is how do we punish that guy? Put him in jail? The guy is a gladiator. He’d love the prison lifestyle. I say we put him in a pink room with stuffed bunnies and force him to have a tea party with a bunch of adult babies.

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