Tag Archives: child abuse

Allan Keyes Looks At The World And Says “Ugh.”

18 Mar

March 18, 2013

keyes1.jpg

So here I was, searching the web for help with my……erm, uh, “colon problem” and when I googled “little poopies” what did I discover (besides the fact that I needed to put my safe search on before I went blind?)

This:

poopy1

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/dad-9-year-old-rapper-charged-neglect-article-1.1273649

Lil Poopy in full flow. lil-pooper-adult-abuse-lead

Evidentally “Lil Poopy” is a 9-yr old victim of child abuse rapper who’s alleged “parents” are under investigation for any and all myriad of offenses, including ruining that sweet car with those awful garish rims.

Even though Mr. B has all but begged me to write about this (with this type of awfulness being right up my wheelhouse) I’ve held off, mainly because seeing epic-level irresponsibility such as this makes me tired to my soul. I simply can’t summon the righteous fury needed for this topic. It’s times like this that I wish I was a racist – I’d doubtless have no trouble going on a 4-page screed in that case. 

Ok, I lie – I am angry. Reading this makes me want to hit someone:

Nate Hill

Yeah, this jagoff. I was thinking about him yesterday and I realized that he still needs to get his sad-sack ass kicked.

Anyway, life imitates art I suppose. I watched that kid rapping and I was reminded of my favorite episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Weu6k43hP78

d3

Remember kids, go to 642, Wharf Avenue! Ask for Carl.

Imponderable #27: Olympia Washington

16 Dec

December 16, 2011

Stop right there, this story had me at the headline.

In order to discipline his daughter, a man made his 16 year-old girl to put on medieval armor and engage him in a two-hour sword fight.

HUZZAH!

I can’t help but think that if the man were a stamp collector the worst his daughter would had was a dry tongue after a marathon session of licking stamps.

The Father of The Year of 1608 was booked on “suspicion of second-degree assault with a deadly weapon.” I’d say that’s an open and shut case.

But aside from the horrible battle/abuse, what is up with all the Renaissance Fair love? Ever been to one? Lots of people saying “thou” and “m’Lord.” People with stupid leather mugs. And OK, maybe the jousting is fun, but you watch it, not perform it. On the other hand, most people are just there to drink beer. And I like going to Medieval Times once every year or two, but would you make every day a visit to a time when the Black Plaque competed with horse manure to see which one was more plentiful?

My only worry is how do we punish that guy? Put him in jail? The guy is a gladiator. He’d love the prison lifestyle. I say we put him in a pink room with stuffed bunnies and force him to have a tea party with a bunch of adult babies.

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