Tag Archives: work

The Applicant

28 Aug

August 28, 2021

You think your problem is that your sink is backed up, but maybe all you really need is a back massage.
Garbage cans full? A relaxing bath may be in order.
Graffiti on your billboard? Aromatherapy.

My company is hiring, and we are getting a lot of candidates. Here’s a resume that really stood out:

I AM EXTENSIVELY EXPERIENCED IN PORTER, MAINTENANCE POSITIONS FOR 6 YEARS, ALSO WITH A 2 YEAR EXPERIENCE IN MASSAGE THERAPY. I HAVE WENT TO STRIVE FOR MY GPRO CERTIFICATION IN FUNDAMENTALS OF BUILDING GREEN AND OPERATION ESSENTIALS ALSO IN MY CAREER PATH ACHIEVING MY EXTENDED PROFESSIONAL MASSAGE THERAPY DIPLOMA. I HAVE WORKED GREAT WITH OTHER AND CUSTOMERS IN MY CUSTOMER SERVICE AND MY ABILITY TO BE TO BE BILINGUAL IN BOTH ENGLISH AND SPANISH I HAVE RECEIVED ACHIEVEMENTS IN MASSAGE THERAPY LIKE EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH TWICE IN A ROW ALSO TWO BEST CUSTOMER SERVICE AWARDS, ALSO IN PORTER I WAS RECEIVED THE PROMOTION OF SUPERVISOR POSITION FOR MY GOOD LEADERSHIP SKILLS AND CONNECTING WITH THE WORKERS MAKING ALL JOBS WELL DONE.

I have no doubt this may be the best massaging porter out there, but we advertised for investigators.

Recent Thoughts, April 2020

3 Apr

April 3, 2020

Updates to this site are few and far between lately. The easy answer is that I have less time and opportunity to post. Far less than I used to have. But the better answer is that I don’t feel the need. Don’t feel the urge to write. Is it because my job, in which on some days I do nothing but write, satisfies whatever craving I have? I don’t know. I really don’t feel the writing bug much, if at all. But I can tell you that what I want to do with and get out of this blog is very different than it was when I began 10 years ago. That’s a different story for a different time. Long story short, updates to this blog are likely to remain few and far between. You know what? I’m ok with that,

And judging from my stats and comments, you are too.

With the current situation, many people would think that this is a good time to write, to read, to catch up on TV, etc, etc, etc. Unfortunately, for many people it is. It’s really sad that so many people I know are out of work and have no money coming in. I am not showing off or humble-bragging when I say that I am working from home, getting as much work done, if not more, than before this virus hit. Yes, I am grateful for the money coming in, but the stress level is high. There is the general level of stress many of us feel these days due to the virus situation. I’m in New York City, so I assume you’ve seen how bad things are on the news. Add to that the stress of my job, which I will not go into here. Plus there is my wife to consider, and my Job One is making sure she’s happy and OK. (I don’t mean to imply she’s unhealthy. She’s perfectly fine.) She is uppermost in my mind these days, right alongside the rest of my family that it kills me not to see.

I’m not the only one going through these things. Things are bad (and badder and baddest) all over. I’m no martyr, but this is my sandbox so forgive me if this comes off as all about me. It is. This is my blog, after all. If thousands of self-obsessed YouTube and Instagram influencers can have channels dedicated to the minutiae of their ridiculous lives, forgive me this one post on this obscure website.

One thing I am doing to cut down my general stress levels is avoiding Facebook. A timewaster at the best of times, it has become nothing short of aggravating. Luckily, my feed is not full of idiots licking fruit or jerks throwing virus parties and crowding 50 people into their apartments. My friends and the people I follow are smarter than that.

But Facebook is full of funny memes about toilet paper shortages and social distancing, and joke after funny picture after silly cartoon about the coronavirus. And that’s fine. But it doesn’t do a thing for me. Some of these jokes are funny, some of them make me laugh. I begrudge no one for posting these things. No problem at all. I’m not some weird moralist who finds no humor in this. Go ahead, post your jokes, post your memes, no problem. I don’t care, and you certainly don’t care what I think anyway. But I don’t want to see them. I don’t want to know from them.

For me, it is a little too close to picnicking in a graveyard.

It isn’t just Facebook. I make a point of checking the news only one or two times a day, and I completely avoid any news conference by New York City’s buffoonish part-time Mayor. The Governor is controlling him like a puppet anyway.

Before you think I am all stress – work – stress nowadays, I have to tell you that I made time to watch Tiger King.

Wow. Just wow. That is exactly the type of thing I’d love to blog about.

If only I felt the urge.

 

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