Tag Archives: new york times

Sorry, But There’s ANOTHER New Hipster Trend

7 Mar

March 7, 2014

I really don’t intend this to be hipster central (“Hipsters! Can’t stand them!”) but this was sent in by an alert reader whose sole comment to me was Murderous rage prevents me from typing any more at the moment.

This is excerpted from the New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/06/fashion/the-monocle-returns-as-a-fashion-accessory.html?_r=2

One Part Mr. Peanut, One Part Hipster Chic

The Monocle Returns as a Fashion Accessory

By ALLEN SALKIN MARCH 5, 2014

From the trendy enclaves of Berlin cafes and Manhattan restaurants to gin ads and fashion magazines, the monocle is taking its turn alongside key 21st-century accouterments like sharply tucked plaid shirts and certificates in swine butchering.

Martin Raymond, a British trend forecaster, credits the rise to what he calls “the new gents,” a hipster subspecies who have been adding monocles to their bespoke tweed and distressed-boot outfits. On a recent trip to Cape Town, Mr. Raymond said, he saw such a group carrying monocles along with tiny brass telescopes kept in satchels.

“All of this is part of a sense of irony and a way of discovering and displaying old artisanal and craft-based technology,” Mr. Raymond said. “You see the monocle appearing in Berlin, parts of South Dublin.”

Toby Miller, a cultural historian, said: “Monocles have always marked people out as beyond the crowd, slightly different. On one hand you have the Prussian officer, on the other you have the effete English lord, and then you also have the New York and London lesbian in the 1920’s.”

There is more, a lot more, but the author obviously buys into that nonsense. Seriously, who wouldn’t want to look like a Prussian officer or, better yet, a  1920’s lesbian? Yeah, that’s a desirable look. It goes perfectly while butchering a pig, which hipsters can do, according to this article, because they all have swine butchering certificates.

I can go on and on, but we’ll move on to this picture from the same NY Times article.

Let's be honest: He looks like a squinting idiot.

Let’s be honest: He looks like a squinting idiot.

The man with the half-glasses above is Jose Vega, who is quoted in the article:

“I got it just to have my own style, bring something new to the table,” said Jose Vega, 23, an aspiring Miami rap musician who can be seen sporting a monocle on his SoundCloud page. “Also, I’m nearsighted.”

# 1: He is actively hurting his eyesight by only wearing a half of a pair of glasses.

#2: He is “bringing something new to the table” by wearing an accessory that thousands of other people are now wearing, and has “his own style” by wearing something that all the other hipsters are wearing.

All this guy and every other monocle-wearing doofus is doing is joining the crowd, not starting a trend, but jumping on a trendy bandwagon. Give Pharrell credit. His hat may make him look like a ranger at Jellystone Park, but at least it is unique. No one else is wearing it, at least for now.

No way, Jose. Your may think your monocle screams “look at me! I’m different!” but all I hear is a small pathetic whine of “I just want to be part of the crowd.”

atwill hipster

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Validation. Vindication. Victory. (Phone Book Blog 5)

29 May

May 29, 2013

Longtime readers (of which I may or may not still have one or two that I have not yet alienated) might recall that back in 2011 my apartment building was buried in an avalanche of telephone books, taking up the entire lobby and leaving us to climb over the huge piles and drifts of not just one but FIVE different brands of phone books. What was the difference between the brands? Some had ads for malpractice attorneys on the cover, and others had ads for slip and fall attorneys on the cover. Ironically, this blizzard of phone books appeared right in the middle of an actual blizzard of snow. The phonebooks got through but did my bill payments arrive on time? Of course not.

I went on a bit of a rant- OK, a rampage, about the complete and utter uselessness of the phonebook in the internet/iPhone/Goggle glasses era. To sum up, I managed to pinpoint the last remaining uses of the phonebook in the 21st Century: smashing bugs and looking up old friends’ names to see if they are still alive.

phone-book-pile

I was attacked by – who else? Some tool of the phone book industry, who, in the comments section, tried to prove that the phone book is used by literally a kabillion people each hour and that it is a vital engine of our nation’s economy.

I did not believe him.

Meanwhile, I kept ranting until The New York Times (YES! The Old Gray Lady herself!) took up the fight and sided with- wait for it… me. Using the same journalistic integrity that keeps them from printing a single critical word about President Obama’s handling of Benghazi, the IRS scandal, or the AP wiretaps (Their Motto: “Blaming George W. Bush since 1776”) they used time tested reporting tactics, like quoting people, to prove that yes, I was right and the phone book is useless.

Want to catch up on the amazing and hysterical story that was the blog-fueled Watergate of 2011?

Click the links for:
PART ONE                 PART TWO                 PART THREE                 PART FOUR

I must have really had an effect on the phone book industry since last year, 2012, I noticed that the number of phone books had dropped significantly. However, there were still way too many. Whereas we used to get dozens and dozens of bundles of books we only got about ten. Let’s just do some very simple math that even Amanda Bynes can calculate. (Yes, I am going to make Amanda Bynes the new Lindsay Lohan of my blog. At least until Lohan escapes rehab.)

My building has 6 floors X 9 apartments per floor = 54 apartments.

Phone books come in bundles of 12. We had 10 bundles. 12 X 10 = 120 phone books.

Assuming that no matter how many people live in an apartment you still only need one phone book, we had 120 – 54 = 66 too many phone books.

And don’t forget- we were getting up to 5 different company’s books. 5 X 120 = 600.

SIX HUNDRED phone books for FIFTY-FOUR apartments.

 phonebooks-Mental-Floss

And now 2013

We had ONE bundle of twelve books left in our lobby.

12 phone books for 54 apartments. Uh oh, sounds like they went too far in the other direction this year.

No they didn’t. After a week there were still 2 phone books left unclaimed.

54 apartments and demand for only 10 phone books.

Validation. Vindication. Victory.

And the ultimate irony? On the cover was an ad for the phone book’s iPhone app.

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