Tag Archives: kids

HOW TO MAKE ANYONE FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!!!! Not a pill! Not a drug!

27 Jan

January 27, 2014

A couple of second graders in Boston had some free time on their hands and they wrote a list of steps to falling in love. Although they had 24 slots, they ended the list at 13. Either they ran out of time or 13 is all you need, I don’t know. Maybe the missing 11 steps are for the divorce.

love list

Also missing are steps 7 and 9, but I think that just adds to the mystery and mystique of love! The kids’ steps are in black, my commentary is in red.

1. First you stare at the person. DO NOT do this on the subway. This will get you arrested and/or sprayed with mace.

2. You get close to each other. But not too close! See step one above.

3. You ask for a date. Ok.

4. You go in bed and do sex. Number four, like the others on the list, is singular, so I guess that after step three, asking for a date, you were turned down, so you go to bed and masturbate.

5. When you kiss you suck and lick. These are some advanced second-graders!

6. Get nacked [sic] in bed and do more sex. Wow, you must be an animal!

7.

8. Go dance and put your noses together. Um, what?

9.

10. You go in bed forever Then kiss forever. “Forever? Forever ever?”

(I was hoping I could find this clip!)

11. Take a shower together and kiss. Um, I thought we were already kissing forever?

12. Give each other rings. Sounds like every judge show ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_QZGddJ5S4

13. Go to the pool together. Ah, yes, the most important step in any relationship, go to the pool together. What the what now?

It works every time!

It works every time!

So there you go, follow those 24 um, 13, um 11 steps and you too will find true love and happiness!

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Radio Transcript of the Uncle Bosco Show, June 19th, 1946

19 Jun

June 19, 2013

CARNIVAL MUSIC SWELLS

ANNOUNCER: Hey kids, are you ready? Then stand up and clap for THE UNLCE BOSCO SHOW!

KIDS CLAPPING AND CHEERING

ANNOUNCER: Yes, that’s right, it’s time for Uncle Bosco and all his friends!  Captain Danny, Skinny, and even Sneaky the Pirate! And Aunt Pickle will be stopping by! Wow, I hope she brought one of her famous pickle pies!

KIDS CLAPPING AND CHEERING MORE LOUDLY

ANNOUNCER: But first kids, run into the kitchen and get yourself a big glass of chocolate milk made with BOSCO chocolate milk amplifier syrup! You know, the kind you ask your mom to buy every week? Because it is BOSC-OOOOH so good!

bosco

KIDS CHEERING

ANNOUNCER:  And now here he is- UNCLE BOSCO!

CARNIVAL MUSIC SWELLS

UNCLE BOSCO: Hiya kids! (pause for cheers) Today we are going on a trip to the highest mountain in the world, Mt. Tall Top! (pause for cheers) We’re going to search for the very rare BLOOP-BLOOP BIRD! Now who wants to go with me?

KIDS: Me! Me! Yay! Etc.

Uncle Bosco: Hey, look at that, I guess everyone wants to ride in Uncle Bosco’s super buzz-plane! But I see one little boy in the front row wearing his Uncle Bosco pin, which he got with only 5 tops from cans of Bosco chocolate milk amplifier syrup! Skinny, why don’t you bring him up here with me?

Skinny: Yes sir Uncle Bosco! Yippee this is a lucky boy!

Uncle Bosco: You bet he is!

Skinny: He doesn’t want to come on stage, Uncle Bosco!

Uncle Bosco: Sure he does, just take his arm and bring him –
(interrupting) Skinny: OW! He bit me!

Uncle Bosco: Now now son, settle down and-
(interrupting ) Skinny: He’s kicking me!

ANNOUNCER: Say, I think we’ll find another young Bosco-teer right after we take this commercial break for Bosco!

Uncle Bosco: That’s right, Bosco, the chocolate milk amplifier syrup that makes milk chocolaty! Swell kids all over your town are enjoying- hey!

Skinny: He’s LOOSE! THE KID IS LOOSE!

Uncle Bosco: Now kid, give Uncle Bosco back his script…

(off mic) Aunt Pickle: Where’d he go? Where’d he go?

KIDS YELLING AND SCREAMING, SOUNDS OF CHAIRS BEING KNOCKED OVER

(off mic) UNKNOWN VOICE: Kill the show, throw it to news! Kill the show!

CARNIVAL MUSIC SWELLS

ANNOUNCER: The Uncle Bosco Show was brought to you- OW! He’s under my desk! He’s biting me!

(off mic) Aunt Pickle: He’s in the control room!

(off mic) UNKNOWN VOICE: Shut it down now!

 

STATIC

Bosco2