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Tag Archives: kissing

HOW TO MAKE ANYONE FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!!!! Not a pill! Not a drug!

27 Jan

January 27, 2014

A couple of second graders in Boston had some free time on their hands and they wrote a list of steps to falling in love. Although they had 24 slots, they ended the list at 13. Either they ran out of time or 13 is all you need, I don’t know. Maybe the missing 11 steps are for the divorce.

love list

Also missing are steps 7 and 9, but I think that just adds to the mystery and mystique of love! The kids’ steps are in black, my commentary is in red.

1. First you stare at the person. DO NOT do this on the subway. This will get you arrested and/or sprayed with mace.

2. You get close to each other. But not too close! See step one above.

3. You ask for a date. Ok.

4. You go in bed and do sex. Number four, like the others on the list, is singular, so I guess that after step three, asking for a date, you were turned down, so you go to bed and masturbate.

5. When you kiss you suck and lick. These are some advanced second-graders!

6. Get nacked [sic] in bed and do more sex. Wow, you must be an animal!

7.

8. Go dance and put your noses together. Um, what?

9.

10. You go in bed forever Then kiss forever. “Forever? Forever ever?”

(I was hoping I could find this clip!)

11. Take a shower together and kiss. Um, I thought we were already kissing forever?

12. Give each other rings. Sounds like every judge show ever.

13. Go to the pool together. Ah, yes, the most important step in any relationship, go to the pool together. What the what now?

It works every time!

It works every time!

So there you go, follow those 24 um, 13, um 11 steps and you too will find true love and happiness!

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Imponderable: Tokyo Japan

4 May

May 4, 2012

In keeping with this week’s Japan theme here is a Classic Imponderable from Tokyo.

July 7, 2011

Japan strikes again

I’ve covered the cyberhug before. And while not everyone agrees with me, I still say Japan is nuts. If there is a wacky computer product or bizarre sex video the odds are it comes from Japan. Whether it is a game based on urinating, an elderly porn star, or an electronic French kiss, it is clear that the Japanese have some issues to work through.

I don’t see the attraction of tongue kissing my computer. Of course I also get out of my house and interact with real people from time to time so I may not be in the target audience for this thing.

I also worry about the possibility of electrocution.

The researchers are working to replicate an individual’s taste, breathing, and tongue moisture, but since they want to create “celebrity” kissing apps, will they have to replicate each star’s specific bad breath and body odor? Could we one day have the ability to experience Robert De Niro’s tobacco breath in our mouth? Lindsey Lohan’s stink after a drunken binge? And popular and funny she may be, but would you want to tongue-kiss Betty White? Through a computer or not, there’s a limit.

And this being Japan, the potential for fetish is endless. I won’t get into it but in Japan you can buy used panties from a vending machine. ‘Nuff said.

I can only wonder about who comes up with this, but I wonder more about the volunteer who tests this.

Who is the person who is waiting for the day they can stick a straw in his mouth, kiss his computer, and pretend it is Ed Asner?

The question is Imponderable.

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