Tag Archives: Boston

HOW TO MAKE ANYONE FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU!!!!!! Not a pill! Not a drug!

27 Jan

January 27, 2014

A couple of second graders in Boston had some free time on their hands and they wrote a list of steps to falling in love. Although they had 24 slots, they ended the list at 13. Either they ran out of time or 13 is all you need, I don’t know. Maybe the missing 11 steps are for the divorce.

love list

Also missing are steps 7 and 9, but I think that just adds to the mystery and mystique of love! The kids’ steps are in black, my commentary is in red.

1. First you stare at the person. DO NOT do this on the subway. This will get you arrested and/or sprayed with mace.

2. You get close to each other. But not too close! See step one above.

3. You ask for a date. Ok.

4. You go in bed and do sex. Number four, like the others on the list, is singular, so I guess that after step three, asking for a date, you were turned down, so you go to bed and masturbate.

5. When you kiss you suck and lick. These are some advanced second-graders!

6. Get nacked [sic] in bed and do more sex. Wow, you must be an animal!

7.

8. Go dance and put your noses together. Um, what?

9.

10. You go in bed forever Then kiss forever. “Forever? Forever ever?”

(I was hoping I could find this clip!)

11. Take a shower together and kiss. Um, I thought we were already kissing forever?

12. Give each other rings. Sounds like every judge show ever.

13. Go to the pool together. Ah, yes, the most important step in any relationship, go to the pool together. What the what now?

It works every time!

It works every time!

So there you go, follow those 24 um, 13, um 11 steps and you too will find true love and happiness!

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January 15th in Time! (Not space, just time.)

15 Jan

January 15, 2014

In my continuing, failing effort to bring a sense of perspective to America, I present the historical events that shaped our country, all of which took place today, January 15th.

1- New Connecticut (Vermont) declares independence, 1777 Yup, how’d that work out for ya? Didn’t keep that “New Connecticut” name long, huh? That name needed a serious rethink. But I think it ended up OK. When I think of Vermont, I think of Maple syrup and the Green Mountain Boys. When I think of Connecticut I think of traffic around Hartford.

3-Molasses floods Boston streets, 1919 This is true and it is one of my favorite historical events. A gigantic vat of molasses collapsed and (slowly) flooded the town in sticky goo. Buildings were knocked down, people got trapped and drowned, and the smell lingered for ages. This really happened.

Molasses_Flood_Historical_Marker

2- Ford Foundation is born, 1936 And in 1952, she changed her name to Anna Smithson. Seriously, would you like to go through life named after a philanthropic organization? Poor girl was mercilessly teased in high school, with all the teenage guys trying to give her a “donation.”

4– First appearance of the Democratic donkey, 1870 That was the first, but definitely not the last, jackass the Democrats have run for election.

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