Tag Archives: imponderable

A Simple Sandwich Question

13 May

May 13, 2016

I’m no expert when it comes to food. Oh sure, I know how to eat it. I really know how to overeat it. And I can cook a little, as long as adding boiling water to a
Cup O’ Soup counts as cooking. But something as simple as a sandwich has got me stumped. Not making it, but understanding it.

In other words, is bread an ingredient in a sandwich?

Ask someone at random what goes into a BLT. They’ll tell you bacon, lettuce, and tomato. Some people may also mention mayo, or mustard, or some other condiment or topping. And that’s all fine and good, but what about the bread? No one ever mentions the bread.

Is it just assumed that bread is what makes the sandwich, so it isn’t an ingredient? Bread is integral to a sandwich- it isn’t a sandwich without bread, so it can’t be a mere ingredient.

But when assembling the components of your BLT, you take out the bacon, the lettuce, the tomatoes, and the bread. The bread is obviously a component of the sandwich.

nom nom nom

nom nom nom

So what’s up with bread? Is it a sandwich ingredient or not?

Better minds than I need to answer this one.

Here is what a far lesser mind has to say. This is from Wikipedia, which if it were a sandwich would be composed of lug nuts and antlers, no bread.

“A BLT (Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato) is a type of bacon sandwich. The standard BLT is made up of four ingredients: bacon, lettuce, tomato and bread.”

I guess that’s the final word. If Wikipedia says that bread is an ingredient, then I have to believe that the opposite is true.

 

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Willy Wonka Must Be Stopped!

1 Apr

April 1, 2016

The greatest threat to humanity is not ISIS, Al-Qaeda, or Cobra. It is Willy Wonka. He is a danger to all humanity and must be stopped. Like The Island of Doctor Moreau, The evil genius is conducting evil experiments meant to be breed new threats to humanity in order to take over the world.

WONKAS

Don’t believe me? Wonka does not even try to hide his evil ambitions. Want proof? It is right here on this box of everlasting gobstoppers, a box like any other innocent, innocuous box on store shelves across America.

gmo gobstopper

“Produced with genetic engineering.” It’s a freakin’ gobstopper! What genetics does it have? The main ingredients are sugar and artificial colors. Where are the genes? What DNA has been manipulated? It says “may contain eggs.” What is Willy Wonka doing to those eggs?

Wonka is very upfront about his plans for domination. Look at that box, a happy cartoon gobstopper with a mouth! Is that a clue? Are these things alive? WHAT GENETIC ENGINEERING GOES INTO A GOBSTOPPER?

For the record, after I read that disclaimer, I threw the box away. It was still half full.

 

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