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Tag Archives: hot dog

My Review of Sausage Party The Movie

13 Aug

August 13, 2016

lnmh sausage party

Sausage Party, The Movie is an animated film like no other. I mean that literally. There is no comparison, unless I dare to compare it to some of the raunchy 1970’s cartoons like Fritz the Cat. This is an adult film in every sense of the word. And then some.

Seth Rogan is behind this film so you some things going in. It will be tasteless, it will have plenty of F-bombs, and there will be drug use. I think it is impossible for him to do a film without drug use. (Both in the story and possibly during production.)

(For those of you who are wondering, I managed to snag my favorite seat, top row center. I may have tripped a couple of nuns to get it, but I got it.)

In a nutshell, the film is about cute cartoon food items (hot dogs, buns, boxes of cereal, etc) that live for the day they will be plucked off supermarket shelves by “the gods,” who will take home to be pampered and taken care of for the rest of their lives. Of course, they find out the truth that they will be chopped up, blended, eaten and “murdered” in the most horrendous ways possible, all very gruesomely (though not too graphically) animated.

sausage party cast

The story centers on 6 main characters- a hot dog who finds out the truth in the outside world and a group of five- a hot dog and his girlfriend, a bun, a Jewish bagel and an Arab falafel who do nothing but reenact the real-world Israel/Palestine issue, and a horny lesbian taco.

This is a film that is guaranteed to offend someone. In no particular order, there are the Woody Allen-ish bagel and the fiery Arab stereotype falafel constantly at each other’s clichéd throats, sleepy Mexican food, wise Indian “Fire water,” Nazi sauerkraut (in a Hitler mustache) determined to wipe out the juice (yes, “the juice”), and almost any other ethnic group you can think of.

The main group is threatened by an evil douche- yes, he is literally a female hygiene product- who holds a grudge against them for ruining his chance to go the outside world.

Along the way they encounter a human who gets high on bath salts and ultimately ends up beheaded.

It gives nothing away to tell you that the movie ends with a giant food orgy, including hot taco-on-bun action, lesbian oral sex, gay male sex between the bagel and falafel, the hot dogs inserting themselves in any willing food orifices, and every single food item in the store having group sex with every other single item in the store.

Don't tell me you're not thinking about it.

Don’t tell me you’re not thinking about it.

And the douche rams itself in the store manager’s butt where he does battle with the hot dog in the manager’s crotch. (I mean a real hot dog, not, you know.)

At this point, I must tell you that not only does this post contain spoilers but it’s also not safe for work.

Bottom line, this film is very, very funny and is also an equal opportunity offender. The German items are all Nazis, the English tea bags are all interested in tea bagging, the Arab is only interested in the seven bottles of virgin olive oil promised to him in heaven. No one in the theater I was in was at all offended, we were all too busy laughing. This is a foul-mouthed film, a borderline pornographic cartoon, a partial stoner movie, and all funny. And conveniently, the porno parody will not have to change the title at all.

If more films had Salma Hayek as a hot and horny lesbian taco, this might have been a better movie season. That was what Ghostbusters desperately needed.

 

 

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Rebel Base Brooklyn

8 Sep

September 8, 2015

Brooklyn New York is known for many things. In fact, if it were a city of its own and not a borough of New York, it would be America’s fourth largest city by population. It would be the third largest if you went by sheer density of hipsters.

Famous icon: The Brooklyn Bridge.
Famous residents: Isaac Asimov, Mel Brooks, Mr. Blog.
Famous food: The Hot Dog was born in Coney Island at Nathan’s in the 1870’s. (So was the panhandler, but that wasn’t until the 1970’s.)

But there’s one thing Brooklyn has that hasn’t been widely publicized. During the rebellion against the empire, Brooklyn was home to a secret rebel base.

I’m not talking about the Revolutionary War, I’m talking about the Rebellion against the Galactic Empire. I’m talking Star Wars.

rebel restaurant

This restaurant is in my neighborhood, a few blocks from the secret base of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride.

This restaurant’s symbol is very, very close to the symbol used by the rebels in Star Wars.

logo infringement

Is it a coincidence? Probably. While the restaurant has been there for years, and the symbol was always used on the long white sign, the big symbol below the awning is fairly new.

It looks so much like the symbol the rebels used in Star Wars that, if the rebels had a maritime division on the oceans, the one on the left could be their symbol. It looks very much like the rebel logo with some waves added.

And while I won’t go so far as to call this place it a “wretched hive of scum and villainy,” there was a drunk laying face down in the street in front of it last week. Right in the middle of the day at 4:30. Thanks Mayor Di Blassio, That’s a first for this neighborhood!

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