Tag Archives: Green Lantern

Green Lantern Vs. Yellowface

12 Dec

December 12, 2016


“HA HA! I’ve got you now, Green Lantern,” cackled Yellowface. “I’m yellow, my murder machine is yellow, even this whole universe is yellow! You are powerless against yellow! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!” Yellowface turned on his evil-looking murder machine and drooled with anticipation at Green Lantern’s impending doom.

Green Lantern slowly pulled off one of his bright white gloves, filled it with power ring-created rocks, and bludgeoned Yellowface into oblivion. “Powerless against yellow my butt!”

OK, that never happened, but it should have. Being powerless against yellow is and always was a stupid weakness. There are a million ways around it. Sinestro is attacking with a yellow sword? A quick burst of blue spray paint solves that problem. Didn’t Green Lantern learn anything from Batman? A utility belt with a spray can would be invaluable to him.


Here’s one that happened not too long ago. The original Green Lantern was a member of the Justice Society. They were moving into a new base of operations and Green Lantern couldn’t help carry a crate. His ring’s weakness was wood so he was powerless to carry a heavy box. Let me repeat: the superhero was powerless to carry a heavy box. An actual paid comic book writer wrote that.

But was he powerless? No, he wasn’t. Here are just a few possibilities he should have tried:
– Lift up the section of the floor it was sitting on and float the floor wherever the crate needed to go. Lift floor, lift box. (In the comic, the floor was clearly not wood.)
– Use his ring to lift the crate by the metal nails and studs. Lift the nails and the rest of the crate goes with it.
– Coat the box with dirt or dust from the surrounding area, then use the ring to carry the box.
– Create a powerful exoskeleton, lift the box with his bare hands.

Of course, there is always the chance that Green Lantern was just feeling lazy and used the old wood weakness excuse to take a break and let Wildcat do all the work.








The Saturday Comics: Superman’s Greatest Weakness!

16 Mar

March 16, 2016


Superman! Defender of Truth, Justice, and the American Way!
Superman! Last Son of Krypton!
Superman! Powerless Against the Giant Sequoia Tree!

Wait, what? Superman is powerless against kryptonite, right? What’s this nonsense about trees? Check out this page from Justice League of America 29. This is the JLA’s first battle against the Crime Syndicate, an evil version of the Justice League from Earth 3. Here, Superman is in pitched battle against Power Ring, the unimaginatively-named evil Green Lantern.

Seriously, that's just a tree. Even Charlie Brown did better against the Kite-Eating Tree.

Seriously, that’s just a tree. Even Charlie Brown did better against the Kite-Eating Tree.

The sticky tree shavings stuck to Supes and did who-knows-what but it caused him to lose the power of flight and fall to the ground. Yeah. Well kiddies, that was the Silver Age for you.

I will go out on a limb (HA! Pun intended!) and say that since Supes is vulnerable to magic, and it says that Power Ring has a mystic ring (sheesh, they really needed to come up with a better name), then those must be magic wood shavings.

The magic wood shavings stuck to Supes and, instead of just getting him all sticky with sap, they drained his ability to fly. Ok, sure, why not?
I’ll tell you why not. Because they did not affect his super power to create a vacuum with his super suction, that’s why not. I call shenanigans on this comic book.

However, I will not even try to explain this panel from Justice League of America 21, where the bad guys sit around and discuss fiddling around with vibrators.

Justice League 21




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