Tag Archives: beards

The Sunday Seen That: 7/6/14

6 Jul

July 6, 2014

Since I cut back on the blog, the Sneak Peek of the Week has been the biggest casualty. Miss it? Nah. Since I have no clue what’s coming next, or when it’s coming, it would be pretty silly to continue it.

SNEAK PEEK OF THE WEEK OF JULY 6th, 2014

Monday: ?
Tuesday: ?
Wednesday: ?
Thursday: ?
Friday: ?
Saturday: ?

And now imagine that same Sneak Peek every single week.

But this is the summer, people are away, and even the most loyal of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Readers may have missed some recent posts. So I thought this might be a nice time to recap some of the more interesting things that I’ve posted here in the past few months.snoopy

Like some short fiction?

poster_postcard

In the mood for some Picture Postcards?

The_Riddler_7

Feeling Imponderable? (Yeah, me too.)

1683383-inline-i-1-simpsons-pop-culture

Pop culture has also caught my eye. First, my usual targets- TV and movies.

Real world pop culture has given me a lot to yell about too. Hipsters? Grrr, hate them!

 

But have no fear! I can still give you a little bit of a Sneak Peek! Coming in the near future will be a brand new New York Minute, and a sequel to Mumbles Mumbai Meets Sleepy Bhopal. I am NEVER returning to that restaurant, and you’ll see why soon.

 

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The New Hipster Trend

5 Mar

March 5, 2014

As you may know, I live in Brooklyn, which is the new hipster destination (our motto: Just Shoot Us Now.) Hipsters are totally annoying. There are a few things hipsters do that is the antithesis of manly. (Obviously, I am talking about men.) They wear tight girly jeans (or worse- meggings), they carry man-purses, and they have awful, heavily groomed beards which contain so much hair gel that their beards actually melt in the sun. And that is just their appearance. They ride around on penny-farting bikes- true! In Park Slope there are some idiots riding around on those bikes from the 19th century with the one big wheel in the front and the one little wheel in the back, high in the air as if they were on the back of an elephant. They drink $7 imported coffees and vote for Mayor DeBlasio. They make everything worse. And what is the new hipster trend?

Beard implants.

Note the overly moussed hair, the pretentious scarf, and the handlebar mustache. IS he some sort of gay 18th century highwayman?

Note the overly moussed hair, the pretentious scarf, and the handlebar mustache. Is he some sort of homosexual 18th century highwayman?

Listen up men- while hair transplants on the top of your head are ok, even tolerated, this is ridiculous. This is not manly. I know you are not manly already if you are a hipster, but this is worse. Beard implants are nothing more than a cry for help, a desperate plea to be part of something, to be thought of as cutting edge and oh so hip! Who cares? If you are so shallow as to get a beard implant you have deeper problems than poor facial follicles.

Hipsters are just the new metrosexuals. This is all just an act, a “hey! look at me!” thing. But the problem is, it isn’t original. One hipster is the same as the next. Can you tell one ant from another? That’s all hipsters are: Bing Crosby hat wearing, guitar carrying, latte drinking identical ants in expensive shirts from Ecuador that no one but other hipsters care about.

If you find yourself in a doctor’s office waiting for your beard implants, you would be better off on a psychiatrist’s couch. But be careful- your hair gel may stain the pillows.

 

 

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