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Fun With The Google Doodle AKA Is That Fred Sanford?

9 Feb

February 9, 2016

I am sorry to inform you, Dear Readers, that Allan Keyes has returned to the pages of The Tepid Ride, for apparently no other reason than to insult me. Letters of complaint should be addressed to Allan Keyes himself, as we disavow all knowledge of his activities.

keyes1.jpg

Allan Keyes is back, baby! Now that Mr. Blog has lifted his restraining order, I am back to doing what I do best- improving Mr. Blog’s internet ranking. Just look at this chart I made up found on the internet:

Views of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride when Allan Keyes does not post 13 views per month
Views of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride when there is a new Allan Keyes masterpiece 1,068 views per minute

So Mr. Blog needs me, and if he knows what’s good for him he’ll keep those checks coming.

Anyway, when I am not pursuing my highly rewarding career as a master vintner, I can often be found on the internet, where I use my time productively googling things like old Moms Mabley performances on YouTube.

Google does a stupid picture (my God, I am not going to type “google doodle,” that’s just wrong) for pretty much any event, so according to google, Black History Month is just as important as the birthday of the guy who got a high score on Frogger. Now Allan Keyes is nothing if not loving and tolerant, unless you piss me off, so I have to stand up for Frederick Douglass.

This is the google doodle (ok, I did it) they used to honor Frederick Douglass:

clean google

Now I know as much about Black History as the next guy, as long as the next guy is also white, but I say that is not Frederick Douglass, it’s Redd Foxx.

foxx meme

And trust me, no one has done more for black history than Redd Foxx. Except maybe Frederick Douglass. And a lot of other people. But none of them have gotten away with saying this on network TV:

Ah, I love the 70’s. No one gave a crap back then. Tarzan movie, HA! Does laughing at that make me a racist? Uh oh.

But getting back to the point, whatever it was, it turns out that Redd Foxx is a dead ringer for Frederick Douglas

Frederick_Douglass_portrait_900x6002

celebrating-frederick-douglass-6263843829317632-hp

So to sum up:
– Allan Keyes is back
– Screw you Mr. Blog
– Frederick Douglass was born too soon to do standup in Las Vegas
– He also kinda looks like Moses in that doodle too
– Here’s the return of the Fat Guy Eating a Cheeseburger

fat guy beef

 

 

 

 

 

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The Cojoined (And Possibly Transgender) Mermaids of Wildwood NJ

22 Jul

July 22, 2015

Sideshows, carnivals, and traveling circuses used to feature all sorts of “amazing” oddities and displays. Bearded ladies, wolf-men, snake-people, and even mermaids could be seen and gawked at for just a few cents. But nowadays, not only has the price gone up, but the public demands more and more. Nope, plain old run-of-the-mill mermaids aren’t enough to satisfy audiences today. This amazing piece of sideshow art was on display in Wildwood New Jersey.

DSCF0549

These are not your average mermaids, nope. These are conjoined mermaids. And ironically, they are painted behind a pair of seats it would be impossible for them to sit in.

This being the modern era, and not knowing thing one about how mermaids would reproduce- like a fish? Like a human? -the painting is very unhelpful in that regard, the possibility came up that maybe, somehow, those conjoined mermaids are also transgender. The one on the right does look a little more masculine than the other. (Unbelievably, alcohol played no part in that conversation.)

I will wisely leave that topic alone.

However, although I am sure that isn’t vintage, it is still a great example of old sideshow art.

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