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Star Wars: The Force Awakens, And Has Breakfast

26 Jan

January 26, 2016

Star Wars is back, and in the grand tradition of movie tie-ins, it has its own cereal. But I’m a little confused. Are Yoda and Darth Vader about to square off over a bowl of cereal? I guess there weren’t many grocery stores a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away. Yoda looks pretty angry. I’m not sure I’d like to stare at that face over my breakfast table. Is he daring me to eat that cereal? This is a little violent for breakfast.

SW duo

Maybe it is all just a Jedi mind trick.

But not to be left out, the Trix Rabbit also got in on the act. Here he is, dressed as his favorite Star Wars character.

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He’s dressed as Princess Leia. Not what I would have expected. Is there something we should know about him? Seems like an odd choice. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I wonder how that box sold down South? “Yee-haw and fry my griddles! I ain’t having no gol-darn cross-dressing rabbit cereal in this house! Where’s my shotgun? I’m going out to shoot me a good old-fashioned muskrat for breakfast. And somebody check the still. I think I saw some revenuers sneaking around.”

Meanwhile, lost and left out of all the cross-promotion, is poor Jar Jar Binks.

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Ricky 1, Caitlyn 0

14 Jan

January 14, 2016

ricky vs caitlyn

Ricky Gervais hosted the Golden Gobes and the internet is on fire- ¡en fuego!– about it. And whose socks are in a tizzy? The usual easily-offended crowd.

“OH MY GAWD! HE MADE A CAITLYN JENNER JOKE! I AM GOING TO GO ON THE INTERNET AND COMPLAIN! TRANSGENDERPHOBE! HOW DARE HE!!!!!!!!!!! BOYCOTT! CENSOR! KILL HIM! AND OH YEAH HILLARY 2016!” – Totally representative sample tweet

Calm down, settle down, put down those pitchforks. Let’s read the joke, shall we? For many of the loudest whiners, this will be the first time.

“I’m going to be nice tonight. I’ve changed. Not as much as Bruce Jenner, obviously … now Caitlyn Jenner. What a year she’s had. She became a role model for trans people everywhere, showing great bravery in breaking down barriers and destroying stereotypes. She didn’t do a lot for women drivers, but you can’t have everything, can you?”

WHOA! A transgender joke! This is 2016! How un-PC! How… how… wait a minute. Do you see that?

It’s not a transgender joke at all! It is a joke about Jenner’s bad driving. It has nothing to do with his/her gender. In fact it compliments her on breaking barriers.

In the end, it is just a cliché joke about bad woman drivers.

And isn’t that the ultimate acceptance? Caitlyn Jenner is now the butt of a tired old, stereotypical bad woman driver joke.

Meanwhile, I’m sorry for assaulting your eyes with that awful (and totally not transphobic) picture of Caitlyn Jenner. To make up for it, here’s Katy Perry.

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