August 28, 2014
Yes, I am fully aware that Topical Meme Tuesday rhymes better.
One of the branches of The Company I Am employed by took the Ice Bucket Challenge at a location I do not have clearance to divulge. (Ok, it was the dreadful Wilmington Delaware.) Gotta admit, seeing my boss being drenched in ice water was the best part of my day. However, not all Ice Bucket Challenges go so smoothly. Here is the sad fate of Bad Luck Brian.
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January 22, 2014
We had another one of those polar-vortex/bombogenesis things today, just like they had in the good ol’ days when they called these things what they are: snowstorms.
As a public service, I took to Facebook to give updates and helpful tips to the masses.
7 am: The snow is coming today.
Tip #1- In Brooklyn, it is acceptable to decorate your snowman with empty cans of motor oil and cigarette butts.
9 am: It is snowing out.
Tip #2: If you stand outside and try to catch a snowflake on your tongue, you may also catch a dog peeing on your leg.
12 pm: The snow is getting harder.
Tip #3: Your local McDonald’s now has 14 homeless guys sitting around the play area.
1:30 pm: The snow is getting deeper.
Tip #4: Deep snow can cover a lot of dog poop, so step carefully
5 pm: The snow is going to continue all night.
Tip#5: It’ll be dark out. Turn on some lights.
8 pm: The snow continues.
Tip #6: So does Keeping Up With The Kardashians. We all have our personal Hells.
If I saved just one life it will have been worth it.
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