Advertisements
Archive | journalism RSS feed for this section

Gilligan’s Island Sinks

23 Feb

February 23, 2018

Reposting a personal favorite.

As reported by the Associated Press, May 5th 1981.

 

Originally published May 26, 2015

Here’s a news story you may have missed:

Howell fortune

Here’s the text:

VOLCANO ERUPTS, SINKS GILLIGAN’S ISLAND
Thurston Howell III Fortune Feared Lost

AP News Service May 5th, 1981

A volcanic eruption which sunk a small South Pacific island may also have sunk the fortunes of one of America’s most celebrated millionaires.

After weeks of oceanic tremors, scientists confirm that a volcano erupted on the island of Palu Makalu, popularly known as “Gilligan’s Island” since the discovery and rescue of the survivors of the S.S. Minnow shipwreck in 1978. The island is now submerged in the depths off the continental shelf.

Among the survivors was eccentric millionaire Thurston Howell III, who made his fortune in the stock market in the post-war era. He later founded Howell Industries, which produced everything from ticker-tape to typewriter ribbons. Although profits had been declining in later years, due to the changing of technology, he recently doubled his assets after winning a bet on the Harlem Globetrotters to beat their robotic duplicates, in a match played at his resort on the island.

A spokesman for Mr. Howell released the following statement:

“The rumors of the loss of the Howell fortune are greatly exaggerated. When the island sank, it took with it 55 trunks of cash and bonds, which Thurston Howell III buried on the island to keep it safely away from the constant misadventures of Gilligan. However, Mr. Howell has invested heavily in new technologies, and we are confident that his acquisition of controlling interest in Betamax tape and 8-track cartridge corporations will position Howell Industries for future success in the 80’s and beyond.”

The other castaways, reacting to the loss of their island home of 14 years, universally blamed Gilligan for causing the eruption with one of his silly blunders.

In a related story, scientists say the Palu Makalu tribe of native headhunters may now be extinct.

 

Want more Classic TV? Click the CLASSIC TV tab on top of the page. Or click right here!

 

.

Advertisements

Super Bowled Over

5 Feb

February 5, 2018

The ironic part is that New York wasn’t even in the Super Bowl.

The article reads, in part:

Solomon Chu, a 37-year-old Flushing, Queens, underwriter, was walking through the lobby of his Manhattan office last week when he saw a life-sized poster of the pretty-boy New England Patriots Super Bowl quarterback on the wall.

Thinking it was some Beantown prank, he, as any proud Jets or Giants fan would, ripped down the poster and tossed it in the trash.

Little did he know, he had just fumbled away his career. The next day he was hauled into the HR office of his company, National Debt Relief, and confronted about “destroying” Tom Brady. Turns out the poster had been placed on the wall by none other than the head of HR herself, Joanne Murray, who happens to be a huge fan of the Patriots — and Brady.

“Did you think you were going to get away with this?” Murray asked, according to Chu, while confronting him with the damning surveillance video.

Chu immediately began to grovel.

On Wednesday, after four months on the job, the HR bosses pulled a Belichick and fired him.

“They . . . told me I was leaving due to the Tom Brady incident,” said Chu.

While the article never explicitly states it, the real reason he was fired was likely destruction of property. This poster was in the lobby of his office, a public space. It is really no different than if he trashed a lamp he didn’t like or threw out a chair. It wasn’t his to destroy. I don’t think he deserved to be fired over it but he was definitely in the wrong.

However, the woman who put it up was clearly trying to be provocative. That poster has no place in the public lobby of a debt relief office. In her own office, sure, in a non-public part of the office, that’s fine. But a place where your customers enter? Totally unprofessional.

What Chu should have done was leave the poster in place, then file a complaint with HR for creating a hostile work environment. What New Yorker wants Tom Brady staring him in the face at work?

It could have been worse. At least it wasn’t Bill Belichick.

Of course, since the poster was put up by the head of HR this guy was screwed anyway, but at least he could have kept his job.

Football fans sure are passionate. Too bad Solomon Chu didn’t display the wisdom of Solomon.

Meanwhile…

I hope this gives Mr. Chu some consolation as he files for unemployment this morning. 

.

 

%d bloggers like this: