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Santa’s Rap Hotline

18 Dec

December 28, 2021

Merry Christmas! If you grew up in the heyday of 1-900 numbers, you know you could call up a hotline and hear a special message from such luminaries as Hulk Hogan or Grandpa Al Lewis, hear a Hanukah fable, or listen to lots and lots of simulated sex. (Hey, before the internet, pre-recorded phone sex at $2.99 a minute was all we had.)

But none of them beat 1-900-909-RAPS, Santa’s Rap Hotline.

So pick up the phone, sit back relax and listen. Kids before you dial get your parent’s permission!

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Pumpkin Pickin’ Pukin’ Pumpkins

27 Oct

An Allan Keyes Klassic from October 29, 2012, republished on October 27, 2021

Happy Halloween everyone! It’s that magical day of the year when we can dress up as superheros, act like panhandlers, and stuff our faces with candy all at the same time! Just a tip though, the rumors are not true – McDonalds does not give out cheeseburgers to trick-or-treaters . Those bastards!

Anyway, have a great night out eating other people’s candy! Now here’s some twisted Jack-O-Lanterns!

Fun With Teh Internets:  PUKING PUMPKINS!

Allan Keyes’ favorite!

BONUS SEARCH: Cannibal Pumpkins.
The little guy looks so happy, doesn’t he?

And for some reason, this came up in the search…..

Wait till you see my selection of inappropriate Santas for Christmas…… 😉

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