Tag Archives: the Office

The Office Continued

27 Aug

August 27, 2022

Full Disclosure: The following is an actual dream I had, told almost exactly as it happened. The only edit I am making is that at one point in the dream, I became a character but I am leaving myself out. My addition in the story did not change the narrative at all, so nothing is missing.

This was a very vivid dream, and in it, I was watching a new television show, a continuation of The Office. In fact, in my dream, I could see the outline of the television screen around the action. There was one part of the dream where something shocking happened (you’ll read it below) and I said, audibly “Holy f**king shit!” so loudly I partially woke myself up.

The dream wasn’t completely in order and I won’t change the way the dream happened, but it does give a complete, though unfinished, narrative of my dream version of the return of The Office. You’ll notice that certain characters are missing, and I am certain that had my dream continued for more “episodes,” more would have been introduced.

The episode begins about five years after the end of the series and ignores much of what happens there. Dunder Mifflin is now based in lower Manhattan (the area between the S.I. ferry terminal and South Street Seaport, if you know lower Manhattan.) They are on the first floor of a building and have a large glass window looking out onto the street.

Something ominous is happening. Outside the window people are rushing about, not in a panic, but with a sense of urgency. The Dunder Mifflin staff are going to the basement for protection from whatever is going on outside. (Oscar and Meredith can be seen going down the stairs in the background.) However, David Wallace walks into frame and stands silhouetted against the windows. To no one in particular, he says “I need to be out there.” and prepares to go outside.

Jim Halpert grabs his jacket and tells him he can’t go out there. Wallace shakes him off but refuses to be stopped. He goes outside and Jim runs behind him, begging him to come back inside and still trying to grab him. Wallace and Jim walk down the block, still arguing. The documentary crew refuses to go outside and instead films them from the office entrance. As Jim and Wallace reach the street corner, the situation outside, still unexplained, seems to get worse and people huddle for cover. Through a crowd, the documentary crew manages to film a glimpse of Jim and Wallace as they duck inside a building.

Then the building collapses on them.

The next scene in my dream takes place five years after the deaths of Jim and Wallace. A caption on the screen places the action in South America. Pam is sitting behind a large desk in a large and expensive office, though it is barren of personal decorations. She is busy talking on a phone, with another ringing on the desk. Dunder Mifflin is now a newspaper, employing hundreds of employees, and is dedicated to finding out what was behind the event that happened back in New York. Pam is the boss.

The next scene, which is out of order, is set in the aftermath of the first scene, Pam, her children, now older than when last seen on The Office, and other cast members (Phyllis, Oscar, Creed) are in the main room of Dunder Mifflin, at their desks, in shock, processing the whole tragedy, in particular the deaths of Wallace and Jim. Sitting between Pam and her kids, unseen, is the ghostly form of Jim, looking horribly mangled, and if there was any doubt he was really dead, this settles it.

The next scene takes place later, and in Los Angeles. Darryl, bearded, is angrily talking to Roy on a street corned across from a very modern office building where Dunder Mifflin is now located. Darryl angrily, but choosing his words carefully, tells Roy that if he’s allowed back at Dunder Mifflin he’ll have to change his ways and toe the line. Also standing there is Dwight, bearded and in a flannel shirt, looking nothing like he used to and exuding confidence. He’s also been away from Dunder Mifflin and has become a very successful investigative reporter, although his methods have been questionable. Dwight takes it all in with a grain of salt and a superior grin.

A ghostly Jim is there, looking at Dwight with a smile. Jim looks normal and not gruesome now.

The following scene is brief, at Jim and Wallace’s memorial service, where some mourners faint from grief.

Still Los Angeles, Kevin is looking for Angela. L.A. has had some changes, including a modern monorail system that stops right at a hospital entrance, on the third floor. At the desk, he finds her registered under the last name Martin, although she had married Dwight and become Angela Schrute at the end of the series. The security guard gives him a paper with a very South American sounding name on it and directs Kevin down the hall.

As Kevin is pondering the odd name, he comes to the area to which he was directed, and on the wall is a plaque with the South American name, declaring it to be dedicated to those who died in the Spanish-American War. It is an open ward, with a nurse’s station and four or six beds. Angela is walking around the ward wearing a robe, speaking to no one, looking straight ahead. She does not acknowledge Kevin.

As Oscar watches Angela, he wonders who is paying her hospital bills, and then realizes that it must be Oscar, who is somehow now very wealthy.

Angela walks over to one of the hospital beds and uses the controls to lift it about four feet in the air. She looks at a young patient who is also in the ward, and asks him if he minds. “No,” he replies, with a look on his face that shows that he has been through this with her before.

And that is where I woke up.

I Say It’s Funny!

20 Sep

September 20, 2018

There’s an old saying that I firmly believe: If you have to explain a joke, it isn’t funny.

But the heck with it, I say. This post below from almost exactly one year ago is funny no matter what anyone thinks.

Back in October 2017, I took aim at the pumpkin spice craze, in which everything from your morning coffee to your evening laxative suddenly gets a pumpkin spice infusion every autumn. “So,” I thought, “why not give the ol’ Tepid Timewaster a shot of pumpkin spice? What could possibly go wrong?”

The joke fell flat, that’s what went wrong. And I blame you. Each and every one of you. All three of my readers, you are to blame. Because this is funny on so many levels that I shouldn’t have to spell it all out for you but I am going to spell it all out for you.

  1. I started with a ridiculous premise, ranking people on a Pumpkin Spice Scale. What does that even mean? How can you judge people based on pumpkin spice? It makes no sense.
  2. I wrote it in an over the top, US Weekly/Entertainment Weekly/People Magazine Weekly style and used silly graphics.
  3. I stressed that I am going to put together a list of “TV’s most beloved and iconic characters,” from “your favorite sitcoms and dramas,” and asked if “your favorite hero or the small screen’s greatest villain” made the list and started it off with Wolf Blitzer. Wolf freakin’ Blitzer, the boring old man who reads cue cards during thunderstorms on CNN. Didn’t any of you get where this is going at that point???
  4. The list then went to the incredibly boring (and not spicy in any way) Phyllis Vance from The Office, but at least she’s a legit TV character. At number three was Barney Rubble, a cartoon character, and he was followed by The Snorks. Is there any sense at all to this list? None that I can see. But it gets better. Funnier!
  5. Next up was Taylor Swift. Now T-Swiss may be my secret crush (if my wife is reading  this, perhaps you should stop reading this) but she is in no way a TV star, and I went out of my way to stress these are TV stars. OH HO! Mr. Blog has gone off the rails!
  6. Captain Kirk comes in next, but I choose the most ridiculous picture of him I could find.
  7. Olivia Benson, from Law & Order: SVU is only half a pumpkin spice ahead of Kirk. Why? How? I don’t know.
  8. President Nixon. ‘Nuff said.
  9. Fred Mertz comes in near the top because, I’ll admit, he cracks me up. He’s the only reason to watch I Love Lucy. The show should have been about Ricky and Fred. Period. But again, I picked the least funny, least spicy picture I could. He’s asleep.
  10. I ended the list of greatest TV characters with Edgar Allan Poe. A man who in real life died about 600 years before TV was invented (give or take a few hundred) and crowned him Television’s Pumpkin Spiciest Character.

I ended the whole shebang with a blatant plea for comments, for people to write in and give me their take on who the most pumpkin spicy characters on TV are. For the first time in years I actually solicited comments, expected the conversation to continue in the comment section, with people who, you know, actually got the joke. And did I get any? No. Not a single one. (I’m looking at you, Aunt Edwina. So now I’m off the Christmas card and blog comments lists? What did I do to you, except sleep in your garage for fourteen years?)

Now excuse me, I’m going to yell at some kids to stay off my lawn. And after that I hear some loud birds I need to shoo out of my tree. And is it me or is the sky too blue today? Dagnabit!


October  8, 2017

It is autumn and that means that it is Pumpkin Spice Season. Everything comes in pumpkin spice flavor. Coffee, bread, steak, arsenic, it’s all pumpkin spice! So in the spirit of the season, the Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride (Home of the Almost OK Blog) have gotten together a list of TV’s most beloved and iconic characters and rated them on our patented Pumpkin Spice Scale.

We’ve scoured your favorite sitcoms and dramas and picked out your all-time favorite and beloved TV stars. We then took the best of the best and ranked them from least to most pumpkin spiciness. Did your favorite hero make the list? Is the small screen’s greatest villain in the top ten? Let’s find out!






















Did we leave out any of your favorite TV stars? We hope we listed all of your favorite television characters. If we missed any, please leave a comment below and tell us who you think are the most pumpkin spicy TV stars!



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