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HAPPY BLOGSGIVING! (Classic Turkey Repost)

21 Nov

November 21st, 2012

Today is the biggest travel days of the year, and therefore one of the lowest days of blog traffic. I’m taking a mini-break today and tomorrow with a pair of very Classic Reposts. In fact, this one goes all the way back to my old MySpace days. Ah, yes, the cynical MySpace era, where I blogged once a week or, if I got crazy, as much as three times a week. But I also had a much smaller audience and when I moved to WordPress I dumped all my old blogs here in one lump so the odds are pretty good that almost no one reading this blog has ever read this post. So is it new? As NBC annoyingly said a few years ago, “if you haven’t seen it, it is new to you.”

from November 23, 2007

HAPPY BLOGSGIVING!

Ah, the holidays. Thanksgiving is the official kick-off the Holiday Season. As off 7:01 pm on Thanksgiving night it is now Christmas.

That’s right, it is now Christmas. As I write this on Friday, November 23, 2007, it is Christmas. Christmas music on the radio, Christmas decorations on the Avenue, Christmas sales in the stores, and lots of tools sleeping in tents to beat the crowds and get the sales.

Yesterday, Thanksgiving, at 4:21 pm. I saw a line of young teenage tools lined up outside of Best Buy. The line was a good 150 deep. And the store wouldn’t open for another 12 ½ hours! They had chairs, tents, and barbeques. Everything except toilet facilities. But they didn’t have any at Woodstock either and that worked out just fine. Everyone knows how clean and orderly Woodstock was.

Holidays are a time for family and friends. I hate family and friends! OK, so hate is a harsh word. So are loathe and despise.

But the holidays get you away from work, which is always nice. Except when you take work home with you, which is always bad. I took work home over this break. No, actually, I didn’t. I didn’t need to take the work home because the DAMN WORK IS ONLINE, MEANING THAT I CAN’T GET AWAY FROM IT!

But I broke away from the computer long enough to buy some Christmas cards. Really nice ones featuring my hero, The Grinch.

So on this holiday, at this time of love, peace, and goodwill towards men, I’ll leave you all with my message of love and understanding:………………………….., um as soon as I have one I’ll let you know.

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The Treasure Chest of Terrible Toys: Homosexual Sci-Fi Toys

17 Nov

November 17, 2012

At the end of the post, at the end of the day, long after you’ve gone to sleep, one thought will be stuck in your head: “These toys are actually available on amazon.com.”

But that’s where I found them. These things can’t be legit, and I am sure that “fair use” does not extend to toys that are essentially repainted or shirtless major science fiction characters.

Well, I guess I teased them long enough. Let’s start with the pink Star Wars stormtroopers.

Yeah, Gay Empire figures from Suckadelic. I could not make that up if I wanted to.

OK, I could, but I wouldn’t.

Well…..

Like I said, I found it on Amazon. Only $39.95. And hurry! Only 2 left in stock! Only $39.95? You can buy a regular stormtrooper for about $10 and a can of spray paint and save yourself about $15. On the other hand, this is a collectible that is sure to go way up in value so keep that thing mint on card.

“Suckadelic.” Did Beavis and Butthead name that company? Sheesh, on to the next round.

Thank goodness they got a better printer, that card almost looks professional, and that is more than I can say for the toys. “Kirk” and “Spock” appear to be the exact same jointless body with only the heads changed.

And no phaser or tricorder accessories? What’s up with that?

$200 for this? That’s $100 each, or maybe even $125 for Spock and $75 for Kirk. I’m discounting Shatner for his direction of Star Trek V, although with that script I wonder if Orson Welles could have made a good film.

SDCC means, by the way, San Diego Comic Con. This was some sort of Comic con exclusive. Wow, comic cons have changed a lot since I used to go.

How are these available on Amazon? How has no one gotten sued? There’s only 1 left, how have none of my readers scooped this up?

So if I were to take a Darth Vader figure and wrap a feather boa around his neck, or take a Klingon figure and put him in assless chaps, could I start a company and sell them for $100 each? And what would I call my company? I’m not sure I could beat Suckadelic. I might go more subtle and call my gay toy company Blow Hard.

Kirk and Spock were long the objects of homosexual stories, but stormtroopers? What’s gay about them? (Don’t answer that.)

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