July 12, 2016
I came across a story on News of the Weird that was so ridiculous that it had them rethinking their position on what makes a story weird.
In a nutshell, a woman was changing her baby’s diaper and found a poop smear in the shape of a cross. And as most rational people would do, she fell to her knees, screamed “hallelujah!” and took it as a sign from God. Because where else would you find a sign from God than in a filthy diaper?
While I consider News of the Weird far more credible than the NY Daily News (their motto: please, please end it all and put us out of our misery) I went to their source, the Huffington Post, which is more credible than the Daily News but still slightly less credible than a gossipy mollusk.
Are any of you surprised that this story comes from Florida?
“It might not be the prettiest sign, but he put it where he knew I’d see it. Hard to miss what’s right there in front of you.” Hard to argue with logic like that. If God, in his infinite wisdom, decided to put a sign in literally any other place in the world, this woman would never have seen it. Not in the sky, on her TV, or her forehead. This is why the army routinely used to put Vietnam draft notices in used baby diapers, right?
I’ve left out the picture because some of you might find it a little disgusting, but it really isn’t that bad. Be warned: you are about to see a slightly soiled diaper.
Would God really send a woman a sign by putting a cross made of feces in her child’s diaper?
The question is Imponderable. But I’m pretty sure that no, God wouldn’t.