16 Jul

July 16, 2012

Anyone else waiting for the McRib to come back? I actually follow the McDonalds Twitter just in hopes of seeing the announcement that it’s coming back “only for a limited time.” I know it’s probably as shady a sandwich as Krusty Burgers “Ribwich” 

or even this yummy sounding sandwich 

but there’s something about  that overly processed pork-like meat product drowned in overly tangy sauce, cooked to peak rubber texture,  and slapped on that bland potato bun that really sets my mouth watering. Serously.  How can you not love this thing? I mean look at it, it’s even shaped like a rack of ribs

Any product that involves injecting meat into shaped molds holds a dear place in my heart. But the McRib is a bit of an anomaly, usually when a burger fails, it’s never seen again, banished down the fast-food memory hole.  So I got to thinking….. (yeah, you see where this is going)


Side note….when word started to get around that I was working on this, a regular to this blog contacted me and asked if he could add guest commentary, and I was only too happy to oblige him.

#5: Salad Shaker:

Never mind the salad, look at the tool advertising this lol!  He’s like the salad Fonzie….

#4: McLean Deluxe

Ah yes…..McDonalds’ attempt at a “diet” burger. When word got out it contained a small bit of seaweed (no, really) that kind of killed it straightaway. Besides, when we go to Mickey D’s……we don’t want healthy. Asshats.

#3: McPizza


And Italy weeps. Epic……EPIC fail. Clever use of the logo aside, the pizza never looked like this. The best comparison I can think of would be if you covered a small Styrofoam Frisbee with half-melted cheese. Instead of putting the local pizzeria competition or Pizza Hut out of business, it drove customers away as they flocked to get the real thing.

#2: McDLT

Let’s all say it together: HOT SIDE STAYS HOT! COLD SIDE STAYS COLD!  I’m pretty sure David Letterman got great mileage out of this one.  And I remember an old Yakov Smirnoff bit around this….”In Russia, cold side stays cold, and hot side stays cold also!” What’s ol’ Yakov up to now? Lets watch! 

The best thing about this burger, aside from the fantastic use of Styrofoam?  George Costanza makes  a fool out of himself:

#1: Hula Burger

First of all, it sounds like an old Polynesian Jew : Hula Berger.  That groaner aside, this was Ray Kroc’s attempt to capitalize on meatless Fridays, by offering a “burger” consisting of a slice of pineapple and American cheese.  Still, this was less over the top (though less laugh inducing) than Kroc’s other brainstorm of berating  his baseball team the San Diego Padres over the stadium public address system after a game (true story).

In the meantime, McDonalds continues to experiment with pineapple for some reason….



COMING NEXT WEEK: A special rant: “This Gentleman Needs to Have His Ass Kicked”

17 Responses to “Fun With Teh Internets: DISCONTINUED MCDONALDS FOOD”

  1. allenkeyes July 16, 2012 at 12:27 am #

    Wouldn’t surprise me if Mr. Hula Berger posted on this site at some point 😉


    • zathra July 16, 2012 at 1:18 am #

      The fat guy – er – portly gentleman – needs an agent. Not that I have any experience in agenting, but I could learn on the job….. 🙂


      • bmj2k July 16, 2012 at 1:50 am #

        I can’t give it away but we have… certain plans… for him in about two weeks…


        • zathra July 16, 2012 at 3:02 am #

          He has a guest spot on ” Apartment 3 – G ” or ” Rex Morgan M.D. ” ?


  2. TEStazyk July 16, 2012 at 3:47 am #

    That fat guy still cracks me up every time i see him. I think one of the worst commercials in history was the Hot Hot and the Cold Cold commercial from McDonalds.


  3. allenkeyes July 16, 2012 at 8:49 am #

    The guy is like Fonzie or Urkel…. Was supposed to be a one shot but just wound up taking over


  4. SassySass July 16, 2012 at 2:13 pm #

    it is frightening sometimes to see the stuff people will be willing to eat. Ever visit You’d enjoy it, I think.


    • bmj2k July 16, 2012 at 2:22 pm #

      This list didn’t even include some of the weird regional food they’ve sold.


      • SassySass July 16, 2012 at 2:23 pm #

        ok… now you’ve got me seriously curious. You MUST put up a post about that next!


    • allenkeyes July 16, 2012 at 9:27 pm #

      I love! Its up there with awkward family photos and damn you


  5. Jimbo July 16, 2012 at 10:34 pm #

    Portly? I’d say he’s corpulant at best.


    • Thomas Stazyk July 16, 2012 at 10:53 pm #

      I think “morbidly obese” captures it pretty well.


      • zathra July 17, 2012 at 12:45 am #

        He looks like Michael Clarke Duncan’s lesser – known, shorter brother, who didn’t find Mr. Duncan’s success, so became a fast – food critic & gourmand. 😉


        • bmj2k July 17, 2012 at 1:11 am #

          I believe his mothet remarried and he became a Duncan-Hines.


          • zathra July 17, 2012 at 2:49 am #

            I walked pretty much right into that one…..


        • Jimbo July 17, 2012 at 3:31 am #

          Oh yeah? Well how fast was he? 😮



  1. My Corporate Pancake Breakfast | Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride - October 10, 2014

    […] first stop was by the Director of my division, who handed us a small Styrofoam box. Remember the McDLT that McDonald’s used to beg us to buy? (“The hot side stays hot, the cold side stays cold. Really, we think someone will buy this”) […]


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