July 16, 2012
Anyone else waiting for the McRib to come back? I actually follow the McDonalds Twitter just in hopes of seeing the announcement that it’s coming back “only for a limited time.” I know it’s probably as shady a sandwich as Krusty Burgers “Ribwich”
or even this yummy sounding sandwich
but there’s something about that overly processed pork-like meat product drowned in overly tangy sauce, cooked to peak rubber texture, and slapped on that bland potato bun that really sets my mouth watering. Serously. How can you not love this thing? I mean look at it, it’s even shaped like a rack of ribs
Any product that involves injecting meat into shaped molds holds a dear place in my heart. But the McRib is a bit of an anomaly, usually when a burger fails, it’s never seen again, banished down the fast-food memory hole. So I got to thinking….. (yeah, you see where this is going)
FUN WITH TEH INTERNETS: DISCONTINUED MCDONALDS FOOD
Side note….when word started to get around that I was working on this, a regular to this blog contacted me and asked if he could add guest commentary, and I was only too happy to oblige him.
#5: Salad Shaker:
Never mind the salad, look at the tool advertising this lol! He’s like the salad Fonzie….
#4: McLean Deluxe
Ah yes…..McDonalds’ attempt at a “diet” burger. When word got out it contained a small bit of seaweed (no, really) that kind of killed it straightaway. Besides, when we go to Mickey D’s……we don’t want healthy. Asshats.
#3: McPizza
And Italy weeps. Epic……EPIC fail. Clever use of the logo aside, the pizza never looked like this. The best comparison I can think of would be if you covered a small Styrofoam Frisbee with half-melted cheese. Instead of putting the local pizzeria competition or Pizza Hut out of business, it drove customers away as they flocked to get the real thing.
#2: McDLT
Let’s all say it together: HOT SIDE STAYS HOT! COLD SIDE STAYS COLD! I’m pretty sure David Letterman got great mileage out of this one. And I remember an old Yakov Smirnoff bit around this….”In Russia, cold side stays cold, and hot side stays cold also!” What’s ol’ Yakov up to now? Lets watch!
The best thing about this burger, aside from the fantastic use of Styrofoam? George Costanza makes a fool out of himself:
#1: Hula Burger
First of all, it sounds like an old Polynesian Jew : Hula Berger. That groaner aside, this was Ray Kroc’s attempt to capitalize on meatless Fridays, by offering a “burger” consisting of a slice of pineapple and American cheese. Still, this was less over the top (though less laugh inducing) than Kroc’s other brainstorm of berating his baseball team the San Diego Padres over the stadium public address system after a game (true story).
In the meantime, McDonalds continues to experiment with pineapple for some reason….
COMING NEXT WEEK: A special rant: “This Gentleman Needs to Have His Ass Kicked”
Wouldn’t surprise me if Mr. Hula Berger posted on this site at some point 😉
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The fat guy – er – portly gentleman – needs an agent. Not that I have any experience in agenting, but I could learn on the job….. 🙂
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I can’t give it away but we have… certain plans… for him in about two weeks…
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He has a guest spot on ” Apartment 3 – G ” or ” Rex Morgan M.D. ” ?
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That fat guy still cracks me up every time i see him. I think one of the worst commercials in history was the Hot Hot and the Cold Cold commercial from McDonalds.
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The guy is like Fonzie or Urkel…. Was supposed to be a one shot but just wound up taking over
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it is frightening sometimes to see the stuff people will be willing to eat. Ever visit thisiswhyyourefat.com? You’d enjoy it, I think.
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This list didn’t even include some of the weird regional food they’ve sold.
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ok… now you’ve got me seriously curious. You MUST put up a post about that next!
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Sassy-
I love thisiswhyyourefat.com! Its up there with awkward family photos and damn you autocorrect.com
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Portly? I’d say he’s corpulant at best.
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I think “morbidly obese” captures it pretty well.
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He looks like Michael Clarke Duncan’s lesser – known, shorter brother, who didn’t find Mr. Duncan’s success, so became a fast – food critic & gourmand. 😉
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I believe his mothet remarried and he became a Duncan-Hines.
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I walked pretty much right into that one…..
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Oh yeah? Well how fast was he? 😮
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