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American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior: Communication Breakdown

24 Oct

October 24. 2011

The problems in the Teutul family were always serious, but from a viewer’s point of view, they were fun. No matter who was at fault, most people tuned in to see the fights and the screaming. Now that the fighting has ended and the war has become a cold war of silence, the show is not as much fun to watch. It has become more serious, less fun, a lot more sad, and a bit pathetic. While the characters are the same, the fun is gone from the show in most respects.

This week is promoted as another one where Mikey tries to get Senior to go along with a lot of rules, conditions, and restrictions before meeting with him. As I’ve said before, I am on Senior’s side. He has reached out, he has seen a therapist, he did everything Mikey asked but Mikey always made up another excuse not to see him. Mikey needs to man up. He is totally unable to live in the real world and one day when there is no show and no brother to pick him up, reality is going to slap him in the face. He has a rude awakening coming.

Anyone ever watch the Chopper Aftershow? I never bothered.

This week, PJD continues the DeKalb corn bike and OCC starts a build for U.S. Biker Law. It is a web site of lawyers that specialize in motorcycle cases and they want to commission a 9/11 bike from OCC. You might remember, I showed you PJD’s 9/11 bike right here. OK, PJD and OCC both do trikes, both do builds for corn companies, and both do 9/11 bikes. Coincidence?

No.

And I had a laugh when Senior showed up at the firehouse with the Fire Bike that Paulie designed.

Mikey visits, yet again, a therapist and what does he want? He wants things for his father to do. Not any help for him, but for Senior. Mikey keeps trying to get his father to change instead of trying to learn how to get past it and help himself. I am losing respect for him by the second, and I didn’t have much to begin with.

And what kind of therapist is this guy? You can’t diagnose a man sight unseen. He should ethically not be involved. And he said that Mikey was “well” and “has tremendous strength.” Where, his stomach? He is a mass of denial with no coping skills. Anyway, the doctor agrees to do a three-way therapy session with Mikey and Senior over the phone. I’m sure his medical degree is printed in crayon.

Senior, wisely, says no. Hey, he already did that! Remember, Mikey? No matter how much Mikey says he doesn’t want to talk about the past, he keeps bringing up the past. Senior never has. Mikey is still running from it.

Senior tells Mikey he wants to talk face to face, no more texting. But Mikey likes texting. It is safe. He can tell his father what he wants without talking to him, without hearing him, without seeing him, without dealing with him in any but the most impersonal way. It is cowardly.

Senior thought back to the old times with Mikey and (he’s not a good actor so this was real) got a little choked up at how much he missed his son. He called Mikey to set up a meet and only got the voice mail. Was Mikey screening? I wouldn’t put it past him.

Oh, wait, after the commercial break we see that Mikey was screening. Coward. And he called that a small step forward because they were “communicating, at least.” Well, no, not really. Senior was trying to communicate, Mikey was avoiding it. I swear, I am a better therapist than the hack Mikey went to. But probably so are you. And your dog.

At ten minutes after nine, we see the new lunatic, Jason Pohl, helping to lift the bike onto the lift. No hard feelings after last week, I guess. And again, Jason’s design has nothing to do with reality. He blames the client, but as Senior and Mike told him, it comes down to geometry. As usual, he knows nothing about bikes. Get rid of that guy! And now this is Mike’s week to get pissed at Jason because Jason was acting like Mr. Know It All. And worse, he ran his mouth in the shop and Jason got pissed at Mike!

“He better learn this ain’t Jason County Choppers.”- Mike
“Jason’s getting touchy about his designs.”- Jim
“There’s always an issue in the 2D to 3D transition.” -Rick, on the problems of turning a flat picture into a three-dimensional bike.

Time to fire this guy, Senior, before you give him 20% of the company too.

The bike has an odd, three-piece split tank with strange (but pretty cool) mounts. I just wonder what made it a 9/11 firemen tribute? It had nothing in the design to relate to it. That must be why the Fire Bike got so much screen time this week.

As for the PJD DeKalb bike, as usual it is Nub’s paint that is making it really work. It looks old-fashioned, with faux-wood paint and dark a green tractor colored frame. There is a real 1950’s vibe to it. Plus it runs on corn ethanol. When Paulie took it out on the street and I got a good look at it, I really liked it. Nice job.

Next Week, American Chopper takes  a break for Halloween.

American Chopper: Senior vs. Junior
Top Ten Bikes
Senior and Junior reveal their all-time  favorite bikes including OCC’s St. Jude bike, PJD’s first ever client build for  Geico and a shared favorite between father and son.  

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My Review of Long Island Medium

24 Oct

October 24, 2011

TLC has a lousy show about a psychic housewife from Long Island. I have not seen it but how could it not be lousy?

Long Island Medium stars a woman who, to put it kindly, is just what you think of when you think “Long Island housewife.” The premise is that she has a normal Long Island housewife life, goes Long Island housewife grocery shopping, works out at the Long Island housewife gym, whatever, and BAM! PSYCHIC FLASH! -the yenta somehow gets an insight into the life of some random stranger whom she has to accost on the street and annoy.

Who came up with the title “Long Island Medium”? What kind of a boring, unimaginative name is that? I can only imagine the rejected names- “Medium from Long Island” and “The Long Island Medium.”

As I said, I have not seen this show, but I have seen the commercials.

The most amazing one goes like this. She is in a gym (and she can use a few more squat thrusts if you know what I mean) and some other woman tells her to use her mystic mojo on some guy across the room. He’s a fireman and she asks him if something bad ever happened to him. The guy is a fireman. A New York City fireman. See where this is going?

The fireman breaks down and in tears says that “I was supposed to be at work on 9/11…”

Get it? She went up to a New York City fireman around the 10th anniversary of the WTC tragedy and asked him if anything bad ever happened to him? I’m no psychic but I could have predicted that answer.

And – BAM! PSYCHIC FLASH! I am getting a vision! I think that something bad has happened to you too! Tell me, oh reader, has anything bad ever happened to you? Yes? I knew it!

Yeah, get the point? Go up to anyone and ask a cold, open-ended question and see if damn, you aren’t psychic too. It helps if they already think you are a psychic and are ready to believe whatever you say.

PSYCHIC: “I am getting a strong feeling, a woman who died, she was close to you…”
RUBE: “Yes, yes, oh yes….” breaks into sobs.
PSYCHIC: “I sense it is your mother.”
RUBE’S MOTHER: “I’m sitting right here.”
PSYCHIC: “A grandmother, perhaps?”
RUBE: “OH MY GOD! My grandmother! How did you know?”
ME: “Hey tool, ask any adult about a dead relative and the odds are really good it is a parent or grandparent.”

It doesn’t take Criswell to predict that this show sucks.

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