Tag Archives: Newkirk Needles

And Now For Something Completely Different.

24 Sep

September 25, 2022

It’s-

GENE GENE THE DANCING MACHINE!

Yes my friends, it is the return of Gene Gene the Dancing Machine, who has graced this blog four times over the years whenever I had no idea what else to post. But give ol’ Mr. Blog a break- this is the first time since 2017 I’ve posted this, so a whole generation of readers, maybe as many as six of you, are seeing this for the first time. Anyone who saw this before unsubscribed years ago, so odds are, it is new to you! (And yes, Aunt Edwina, despite your court orders, you are still subscribed. I will take you off this mailing list when you send me more heat down in the basement.)

But fear not, Loyal Reader, I have not forgotten you. How can I? My one and only Loyal Reader, inmate #47605, sends me the most delightfully threatening letters. Hoo boy, I hope the parole board keeps you locked up for life. But for the sake of the random off-chance that someone stumbles across this blog and has seen this clip before, I present to you something new!

A framed picture of Sorrell Booke from the Swan Song episode of Columbo.

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Snappy answers to Sappy Headlines (October 2014)

15 Oct

October 15, 2014

The Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride have been doing a little market research. It turns out that the Snappy answers posts are some of the most read blogs by women over 80 who are also members of my great-aunt’s sewing circle. In fact, all 5 members of the Newkirk Needles received a phone call from me asking if they had ever heard of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride and the one who took my call said yes! Then she asked me to please stop,.(I’m not sure what.)

If you ask me, that’s a mandate. So here is the fourth installment of Snappy Answers.

newserclown

‘Wasco Clown’ Terrorizing California… Kind Of. Clown Posting On social Media Inspires Rash of Apparent Prank Calls.

Jerry Brown. Has to be. What bigger California clown is there than Governor Jerry Brown?

This seems to be an epidemic. Not long ago, the same thing was allegedly happening here on Staten Island. This is the kind of thing you wish really was going on. You wouldn’t want it to happen to you, no sir, you would not want to run into a creepy clown in the middle of the night, but as far as an internet story goes, this is top of the heap. A creepy clown hanging around a deserted train station at 2 in the morning? Boo yah! Internet gold! And the basis for umpteen episodes of Scooby Doo.

 

newserbird

Parrot Missing 4 Years Returns Speaking Spanish. Bird Keeps Talking About Someone Called Larry.

*SQUAWK* “Larry? Donde esta Larry?”
*SQUAWK* “Tomaste tu medicina, Larry?”
*SQUAWK* “Llame al 911! Llame al 911! URK, GAWK! Por desgracia es demasiado tarde, me ha ido!”

newserobit


78-Year Old Man’s Obituary Opens With A Penis Joke. Howard Cocks Dickinson IV Apparantely Loved Women, too.

I would guess that this man did not die with his boots on. Condom, sure, but not boots.

Howard Cocks Dickinson IV. You win Newser. I can’t beat that.

 

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