Tag Archives: Isis

More Snappy Answers to Stupid Headlines

11 Aug

August 11, 2014

Hello again Devoted Readers. Last time I did a Snappy Answers column, I mentioned that I get complaints comments from my great aunt and her sewing circle, The Newkirk Needles. They can really be a feisty group of octogenarians. For example, this week they did a sew-in at their local Starbucks to protest the senior discount dropping from 20 to 15%. I now have a wonderful set of doilies with “Up with Starbucks” embroidery.

Anyway, they really got a chuckle out of the last witty retorts (as they put it) I made to the headlines from Newser.com. That site is quickly becoming my go-to source of bad journalism, quickly eclipsing The New York Post (their motto: Huh? We’re still around?).  Let’s go to round two.  I hope the sparky seamstresses enjoy this one as well.

newserfold

“Slink off?” Like in shame? What does this robot have to be ashamed of? Maybe someone walked into its bedroom while it was busy “folding itself” under the covers?

You can find a video of this right here. The robot’s walk can be described as “shuffling,” “scuttling,” or even a good old-fashioned, simple “walk.” It is not a slink. Someone at Newser (I’m looking at you, Jenn Gidman) should have her thesaurus pried out of her hands.

 

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Ugh. You just know this guy is moving to Brooklyn. He’ll be sitting in Starbucks all day, using their free Wi-Fi to post his weird ISIS poetry, swinging his sword in a totally non-ironic way. I bet he has an overly-groomed beard and a monocle too.

 

newserweed
I’d rather have the weeds than the hipsters, that’s what I say. Unless “phragmites” is some new slang for hipster. I’m not sure I agree with chopping hipsters away, but I’ll volunteer to do something to get rid of them. I say we start with banning skinny jeans and plaid shirts.

 

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The Lost Super Friends TV Pilot

6 Feb

February 6, 2014

Now that the Batman TV show is finally being released on DVD, they really need to release this lost gem.

In the early 1970’s, Universal Television licensed the Super Friends for a live-action television show. The networks, however, were lukewarm on the idea. It was only a few years since the Batman show was canceled, and live-action TV superhero shows were thought of as only appropriate for Saturday morning kids’ shows. (For example, Isis and Shazam.) Universal, though, had spent a significant amount of money on the Super Friends and was not about to let the concept drop. So instead of producing a pilot, they made what is known as a “back door pilot.” For example, the current show Arrow is giving two episodes over The Flash, rather than producing a separate Flash program. This is a backdoor pilot, where if the reaction is good, The flash will get his own show. (In this case, The Flash is already a done deal.)

The Super Friends premiered as guests on an episode of the popular Universal crime movie-of-the-week, McCloud, in the season seven episode “London Bridges,” starring Dennis Weaver as Marshall McCloud.

In this episode, Chief Clifford called in the Super Friends to help protect jewels belonging to a visiting English noblewoman. Unfortunately, Universal could not afford to license all the Super Friends characters.

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Superman was unavailable, the rights tied up with the upcoming movie, and other characters like Flash and Green Lantern were not considered mainstream enough. The McCloud version of the Super Friends consisted of, from left to right, a man dressed as either a gibbon or a mandrill, a magician, The Mad Hatter (who is a villain in the DC comics), The Easter Bunny, and Batman and Robin.

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During the story, McCloud was made a member of the team; a replacement for The Easter Bunny, whose inability to breathe inside his mask made him a liability.

Unfortunately, the casting was, let’s say, less than ideal. While Robin looked alright, Batman was played by a grumpy old man with a paunch. And even worse, Batman didn’t have a utility belt.

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The story itself was not very interesting. The Super Friends were unable to prevent the theft and McCloud recovered the jewels using his Southern drawl. In fact, the Super Friends only appeared in the first act and were not referred to again until the final act, when Apache Chief showed up late and was sent home by Chief Clifford.

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