Tag Archives: imponderable

Not-So-Imponderable #1: The [CENSORED] From China

29 Jun

June 29, 2014

Before we begin, a notice from The Editors and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride:

nsfw

I often get on Japan for being, let’s face it, totally weird. Sexbots, sexbots, sexbots everywhere! Now before you hop on a jet to the Land of The Rising C-, no, no I won’t go there, beware! The following product was invented across the sea in China.

TADA!

Hey, baby. Come here often?

Hey, baby. Come here often?

This, ladies and gentlemen (but mostly gentlemen), is the world’s first fully automatic hands free sperm extractor.

Or as I call it, the Roboblow. And yes, it does just what you think it does.

The effortless machine features a massage pipe that can be adjusted to suit the height of the user. All the gentleman has to do is plug in the frequency, amplitude and temperature and off they go. It’s also fitted with a small screen for those feeling uninspired.
The reason this is not an Imponderable is that this was inevitable. Sure so far it is only installed in hospitals, but can you think of a better machine to put in a bar? This will totally change the dating scene forever.

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Imponderable#122: The Driveways of Harris County

18 May

May 18, 2014

This is a story of one man’s dedication. It is a testament to determination and the human spirit. It is also, as one woman is quoted in the article, a tale of a creep-crapper and revenge poop.

serial

Harris County has an interesting definition of “terrorizing.” If only Al-Qaeda had stuck to pooping on lawns, this world would be a very different place.

This should be a slam dunk for the police. This guy is leaving tons of DNA evidence at the scene of every crime.

Meanwhile, based on the description of an older, balding Mexican with a mustache, I think the police should haul the Frito Bandito in for questioning ASAP.

frito bandito

After all, if he’s eating all those Fritos, I’m not surprised he’s been pooping on driveways. Heck, he’s probably pooping all over town with all those salty corn chips in his system.

How could a human being do this? (Unless he’s drunk. Then I totally get it.)
The question is Imponderable.

 

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