Tag Archives: fun with teh internets

In Which Allan Keyes Gets PWN3D

15 Apr

April 15, 2013

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As some of you may know, I’m quite the hotshot down at my job (yes, I suppress my raging during the daytime long enough to be a productive member of society). As a matter of fact, I’m such a big deal, I travel for business up to once per year.  Or maybe they just get sick of my crap and pay to send me out of town on busywork so they can have a week free from the office xenophobe and his crazy mutterings.

Anyhow, my business this last week was in Chicago, land of the Cubs (bwah ha ha ha), and deep dish pizzer (bwah ha ha HAW). And boy, was I happy as a pig in slop. Oh, not because I was in Chicago, no. HATE THAT TOWN. It reminds me too much like home. When I travel I want to go someplace different. No, I was slap happy because my hotel room had two bathrooms.  That’s right, a double room with TWO toilets for my exclusive use, one the left hand side of the room and the right hand side of the room.                d1                     

Now this was awesome, because the one on the left side of the room was for pooping, and the one on the right side was for showering and lotioning myself up nice and……yeah, for showering. At the end of my stay I realized what a strunz (look it up) I was being – the poor maid had to clean up two bathrooms instead of the one she’d normally do. So I left her a thank you note with a big smiley face on it – what, you thought I’d leave extra money???

So faced with this obvious opportunity to get my brag on, I decide to call Mr. B, off on a business trip of his own. “Hey, Bro, guess what I have? Two bathrooms! What do you think about that, huh? HUH?”

“That’s nice….I have a full suite w/ a jacuzzi.”

 d2

 Congrats to Mr. B…………….all my base belong to him!

mrbtrsays

Allan Keyes: A Carnival of Awfulness

1 Apr

April 1, 2013

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Ever read a story about something that’s really a tempest in a teapot, but everyone involved acted so effing stupid that you just have to shake your head? Well this is one of those stories. My friends, get yourselves a cuppa, and settle down to read this mound of stupidity (well, it’s a mound of SOMETHING, but this is a family blog after all…)

DONGLE-GATE, or……oh god, I’m so very tired of this already.

http://techcrunch.com/2013/03/21/a-dongle-joke-that-spiraled-way-out-of-control/

dongle 1

I suggest you read the whole thing, but since you’re here, I’ll give you the cliff notes version.

At something called “PyCon” (a convention for Python programmers. Py-Con, get it? How cute!) some dorks in the audience were talking amongst themselves, and making some computer terminology jokes that were quasi-sexual double entendres in a Big Bang Theory meets Beavis and Butthead moment. And this is the phrase that started the trouble: ““big” dongles and “forking someone’s repo.”  Whatever the hell that means. I assume it means something to computer programmers. Or the functional retarded.dongle 2

Anyway, sitting in front of them was some shrill thin-skinned harpy who decided this was THE WORST THING EVER IN THE WORLD EVER. Which is surprising, because usually these thin skinned harridans are women whom men wouldn’t fork with someone else’s dongle, but this one is actually kinda doable:

  dongle 3

And because in today’s world, the way to act is instead of just effing turning around and asking them to knock it off, she whirled around, snapped their pic and twittered about how hostile and awful this whole thing was. Part of her reasoning was “Women in technology need consistant [sic] messaging from birth through retirement they are welcome, competent and valued in the industry,”  — now I LOVE me some womenfolk, even when they’re doing things I don’t agree with them doing like leaving the kitchen, or wearing pants, or voting or thinking independently. But the doublestandard is kind of sad at this point. Women in the workplace demand to be seen as strong, independent and equal to any man…..unless said man makes a boobie joke, in which case they’re reduced to hysterical delicate flowers needing protection. Pick one please and stick with it. What ever happened to telling someone “hey, fuck you?” This is why a show like Mad Men is so popular nowadays. Contrast dealing with people like her at the workplace to a show where Don Draper and his colleagues basically molest the secretaries in their offices and send them out the door with a pat on the ass and a “see ya later toots”  And one last sidenote – if you’re equal to a man, you don’t need to be nurtured. I’m a supervisor (yeah,  I’m as shocked at it as you are) and I don’t have time to nurture you. Grow up please. </misogynyrant>

Anyway….for this horrific thoughtcrime, PyCon staff read her tweet and escorted the joking dweebs from the audience. You computer programmers are hardcore.  Make one lame joke and the Python gestapo hauls you away presumably to the Linux gulag (I don’t actually know what the eff Linux is, I just needed something to make a gulag joke work)

And here’s where it starts to get awful – I know, there’s depths yet to be plumbed here!

Since Harpy McThinskin tweeted about this and made it an internet thing, the vox populi started to weigh in. Predictably, the dongler (a father of three)  got fired from his company

My second comment is this, Adria has an audience and is a successful person of the media. Just check out her web page linked in her twitter account, her hard work and social activism speaks for itself. With that great power and reach comes responsibility. As a result of the picture she took I was let go from my job today. Which sucks because I have 3 kids and I really liked that job.”

A big FUCK YOU to his company, Playhaven, whatever shit that is. Profiles in courage you guys, profiles in courage.

Now, since this was not only an internet thing, but also an entry in the gender wars, the twitterverse/Facebook brigade responded by flooding the complainer with predictably awful and over the top offensive feedback that would make a David Mamet story look like a Davey and Goliath, thus making the villain of the piece a victim.

dongle 4

At this point, hacktivist group Anonymous decided to get involved, seeking to right the injustice that was perpetrated upon the dongler, threatening computer attacks against her employer:

“Adria Richards engaged in malicious conduct to destroy the another individual’s professional career due to what she perceived as an affront to her own extremist views from a comment that was not directed at her, not meant for her to hear, and certainly not for her to provide unwarranted input on. As such, she should have her professional career destroyed just like her victim in order for justice to be rendered and balance restored to the universe. The hivemind’s judgement is final and there is no appeal. No forgiveness, no forgetting remember?”

A Denial of Service attack aimed at her employer followed this.

And the final act of this sad, pathetic play: Her company predictably (and justifiably) fired HER, claiming that since she was unable to act effectively as a product evangelist for her client because of the controversy she started with her stupid, thin-skinned whining, they had to terminate her.

So that’s the story- for now at least. It’s still bubbling along in teh internets and there it can stay.

So lets keep track here:

JOBS LOST:  2

REPUTATIONS DESTROYED: 2

COMPANY REPUTATIONS RUINED: 2

MALICIOUS ELECTRONIC ATTACKS: 1 (AT LEAST)

ALL BECAUSE SOME IDIOT MADE A LAME JOKE ABOUT A FREAKING “DONGLE”.  AND I STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT THAT IS!!!  I swear, something as trivial and lame as that can cause all of this repercussion, I don’t even know how we don’t nuke each other 3 times a day because someone at the Kremlin sneezed or someone in the Pentagon used an old hashtag or something.

The guys who made the joke were dumb and guilty of minor offense at best. He didn’t deserve to get fired.

The girl is a dope who DID deserve to be fired because she can’t cope with the real world or have the guts to just ask someone to shut up.

PyCon is a bunch of effing zeros for escorting the guy out. I can’t imagine a more boring, conformist  place than that except for maybe North Korea’s main drag after sunset.

Playhaven is a bunch of gutless cretins for firing the guy because they were afraid of blowback made about a 5th grade lame joke

The public that weighs in on this stuff online is awful

The company that fired the woman is actually justified.

And I’ll never say anything bad about the fine upstanding citizens of Anonymous. Nosiree.  Salt of the earth I say! (Stop calling me a coward!)

This one was certainly NOT fun with teh internet this week….