In Which Allan Keyes Gets PWN3D

15 Apr

April 15, 2013


As some of you may know, I’m quite the hotshot down at my job (yes, I suppress my raging during the daytime long enough to be a productive member of society). As a matter of fact, I’m such a big deal, I travel for business up to once per year.  Or maybe they just get sick of my crap and pay to send me out of town on busywork so they can have a week free from the office xenophobe and his crazy mutterings.

Anyhow, my business this last week was in Chicago, land of the Cubs (bwah ha ha ha), and deep dish pizzer (bwah ha ha HAW). And boy, was I happy as a pig in slop. Oh, not because I was in Chicago, no. HATE THAT TOWN. It reminds me too much like home. When I travel I want to go someplace different. No, I was slap happy because my hotel room had two bathrooms.  That’s right, a double room with TWO toilets for my exclusive use, one the left hand side of the room and the right hand side of the room.                d1                     

Now this was awesome, because the one on the left side of the room was for pooping, and the one on the right side was for showering and lotioning myself up nice and……yeah, for showering. At the end of my stay I realized what a strunz (look it up) I was being – the poor maid had to clean up two bathrooms instead of the one she’d normally do. So I left her a thank you note with a big smiley face on it – what, you thought I’d leave extra money???

So faced with this obvious opportunity to get my brag on, I decide to call Mr. B, off on a business trip of his own. “Hey, Bro, guess what I have? Two bathrooms! What do you think about that, huh? HUH?”

“That’s nice….I have a full suite w/ a jacuzzi.”


 Congrats to Mr. B…………….all my base belong to him!


2 Responses to “In Which Allan Keyes Gets PWN3D”

  1. allenkeyes April 15, 2013 at 12:06 am #

    The maid can attest, I didn’t get the geometry right…


    • bmj2k April 15, 2013 at 12:24 am #

      You should have left a much bigger tip.


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