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Tag Archives: farting

Fun With Really Bad Photoshop: Superman

18 May

May 18, 2015

The two or three surviving regular readers of this blog (used to be six, sorry about the bird flu) know that I am terrible with Photoshop. I am so terrible that I put it in italics, and you know that’s bad. How bad is it? My Photoshop skills are so bad that I don’t even have Photoshop! That’s right, all the lousy Photoshop is actually lousy Paint.

Anyway, I was surfing the net looking for porn doing research for my Master’s thesis in advanced quantum theory when I came across a panel from a Silver Age issue of Superman. Back then, Superman had such powers as super-ventriloquism, super-kiss (lucky Lois!) and the ability to rip a cellophane version of his symbol off his chest and smother a super-villain, for a second or two, until it disappears leaving no ill-effects. Seriously, Superman II, what were you thinking?

Well, he also had a super-sneeze, one which was so powerful that he could destroy whole solar systems. Why they didn’t bring that back in the New 52 is beyond me.

Anyway, it just seemed to me that a super-sneeze is silly, but with a little Photoshop trickery (very little) I could make that same power, with just a little tweak, very funny.

silly funny

How about that? Seamless! You’d hardly know that I am the Photoshop user equivalent of a one-armed spider monkey.

But seriously, or at least as seriously as you can take a discussion of Superman farting, isn’t it logical that if Superman’s body could generate the pressure to release a super-sneeze, it could also release a super-fart?

DC really needs to explore this.

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An Allan Keyes Quick Hit: PORKINS!

13 Jun

June 13, 2013

Allan Keyes burst into the offices of The Editor’s and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride demanding we run this special middle of the week quick hit. Having nothing else scheduled for today they gratefully accepted.

keyes

You what always pissed me off about the original Star Wars? That there’s this one fat X-Wing pilot with the bad double chin and or course he’s named PORKins .

Get it? A fat guy named PORKY.  HA. HA. HA.

Boy that George Lucas sure is a wit. He’d be right at home at the Algonquin Round Table (whatever that was. I assume that’s where King Algonquin sat with his knights)

Ever wonder what Lucas would’ve called the pilot if he was black? Either way, I’m pretty sure Star Wars would never have been able to get past the NAACP….

Meanwhile, in an internet far, far away…

THE INTERNET LOVES PORKINS!

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porkins

fatguywars

Porkins%20Pie

porkinssnack

porkinstee

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