May 18, 2015
The two or three surviving regular readers of this blog (used to be six, sorry about the bird flu) know that I am terrible with Photoshop. I am so terrible that I put it in italics, and you know that’s bad. How bad is it? My Photoshop skills are so bad that I don’t even have Photoshop! That’s right, all the lousy Photoshop is actually lousy Paint.
Anyway, I was surfing the net looking for porn doing research for my Master’s thesis in advanced quantum theory when I came across a panel from a Silver Age issue of Superman. Back then, Superman had such powers as super-ventriloquism, super-kiss (lucky Lois!) and the ability to rip a cellophane version of his symbol off his chest and smother a super-villain, for a second or two, until it disappears leaving no ill-effects. Seriously, Superman II, what were you thinking?
Well, he also had a super-sneeze, one which was so powerful that he could destroy whole solar systems. Why they didn’t bring that back in the New 52 is beyond me.
Anyway, it just seemed to me that a super-sneeze is silly, but with a little Photoshop trickery (very little) I could make that same power, with just a little tweak, very funny.
How about that? Seamless! You’d hardly know that I am the Photoshop user equivalent of a one-armed spider monkey.
But seriously, or at least as seriously as you can take a discussion of Superman farting, isn’t it logical that if Superman’s body could generate the pressure to release a super-sneeze, it could also release a super-fart?
DC really needs to explore this.
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Mr. Blog's Tepid Ride 
Masterfully done!
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Master of the bad Photoshop!
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Well, actually it makes sense… o__O
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Comic book writers have never paid enough attention to Superman’s gastrointestinal system.
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What a glaring mistake on their part – they could have even launched a gastrointestinal-system-themed series. With spin-offs.
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Next week in Action comics: Superman eats bad clams and gets cramps, Batman has gas after salmonella-laced Justice League pot luck dinner.
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There, you see? Possibilities!
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