Tag Archives: gas

Fun With Really Bad Photoshop: Superman

18 May

May 18, 2015

The two or three surviving regular readers of this blog (used to be six, sorry about the bird flu) know that I am terrible with Photoshop. I am so terrible that I put it in italics, and you know that’s bad. How bad is it? My Photoshop skills are so bad that I don’t even have Photoshop! That’s right, all the lousy Photoshop is actually lousy Paint.

Anyway, I was surfing the net looking for porn doing research for my Master’s thesis in advanced quantum theory when I came across a panel from a Silver Age issue of Superman. Back then, Superman had such powers as super-ventriloquism, super-kiss (lucky Lois!) and the ability to rip a cellophane version of his symbol off his chest and smother a super-villain, for a second or two, until it disappears leaving no ill-effects. Seriously, Superman II, what were you thinking?

Well, he also had a super-sneeze, one which was so powerful that he could destroy whole solar systems. Why they didn’t bring that back in the New 52 is beyond me.

Anyway, it just seemed to me that a super-sneeze is silly, but with a little Photoshop trickery (very little) I could make that same power, with just a little tweak, very funny.

silly funny

How about that? Seamless! You’d hardly know that I am the Photoshop user equivalent of a one-armed spider monkey.

But seriously, or at least as seriously as you can take a discussion of Superman farting, isn’t it logical that if Superman’s body could generate the pressure to release a super-sneeze, it could also release a super-fart?

DC really needs to explore this.


I’m not cheap. I just want what I pay for.

26 Sep

September 26, 2013

Remember back in the 1950’s when you pull your car into a gas station? Four or five guys in white uniforms would storm your car. One would fill up your tank, one would check your oil, another would put air in your tires, and one would wipe your windows whether they were clean or not. The gas would cost you 95 cents, you’d tip them a nickel, (and they’d thank you for it!) and you’d drive away, the whole thing costing you a buck.


OK, I don’t remember that either (how old do you think I am?) but I’ve seen it in old movies. And we’ve all been in gas stations today. You drive up to the pump, get out, walk to the cashier, which is in the middle of a huge convenience store, wait in line, pay about $45 to fill your tank (if you’re lucky), walk back to the pump, fill your car and, if there happens to be one laying around, use the squeegee to clean your window. Then you leave, smelling of gas, your shirt wet from the window washer fluid. And don’t even think of having someone pump your gas. Even if you can find a non-self-service station, who wants to pay the extra money they charge? I’m not cheap but gas is already around $4 a gallon, who needs to add even more to the strain on the wallet?


And that brings me to my point.

When I go shopping, I want what I pay for.

For example, take grocery shopping. When you go to the checkout lines to pay, you have your choice of express lanes where you bag your own stuff. I usually choose those because I am pretty sure I won’t pack my bread and eggs below my canned vegetables and bottles of soda. (Seriously cashiers, I know you don’t like you jobs, but jeez, stop breaking my eggs and crushing my bread.)

But here’s the problem- part of the money I spend in the store goes to pay the cashier, whose job it is to bag my groceries. If I have to do their job and bag my own, I want a rebate.

I just want what I pay for.

Fast food places are the same thing. They don’t fill your soda, they hand you a cup and tell you to fill it yourself. But at last here, I can make up the difference in refills. (Which brings up another point- who would spend more money for a large drink? Buy a small and refill it. For restaurants, soda is nearly all profit, why put another cent in the Burger King’s velvet change purse?)

However, 7-11 is ok. The whole place is based on the serve yourself concept, but I know that going in. And really, do I want the weird guy behind the counter at 3am microwaving my burrito? No thanks, I’ll handle my own burrito.

I’m not cheap. I just want what I pay for.

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