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See What I Did There? (January Look Back, 2014 Look Ahead)

2 Feb

February 2, 2014

January was a pretty interesting month around Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride. We talked about a lost and lonely bear, I had trouble being seated in an empty restaurant, and Allan Keyes wished harm on subway tool Lucas. I lost my temper at the post office, wondered what kind of car Darth Vader would drive, and the Tepid Zombie popped up to tell us he liked to snack on fingers. There was bad spelling and bad cosplay, Dennis Rodman and The Fay Guy eating a cheeseburger. Lego, language, and interplanetary carnage all appeared in the blog last month. I pondered a mysterious cup and Mike Monge presented his version of Boba Fett. Frank Perdue fought Colonel Sanders and the Northeast fought the Polar Vortex. There was whole lot more, including pigs, Justin Bieber, and lots and lots of farting.

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It was a good month. But what else was it?

It was a month without a single rerun. Even on Sundays, where in the past I’d post the Sneak Peek of the upcoming week, I posted new blogs. OK, they weren’t all winners (Chachi blog, I’m looking at you) but 31 days of original material every day is pretty good. And take this into consideration: I ended December with about 2 solid weeks of reruns, and the month before had some reruns around Thanksgiving week. I also abandoned the old schedule. The Imponderable, which had been a Friday staple, appeared once on a Tuesday and never again. Saturday also saw only one Saturday Comics last month. And then, on February 1, I took the day off.

So what does all this mean? First of all, I went a month with no reruns to prove a point: that I can do it. (And have done it, over and over.) All this Daily Write nonsense? Just do it. Write something and put it up. Secondly, I tossed the schedule out the window. If I find a good story for The Imponderable and it’s ready, I’ll run it on a Monday. All Keyes submits his rant on a Wednesday? I’ll run it then. And a month with no scheduled features? Who needs them? The only thing I plan to stick to is, if I find I do have a Saturday Comics, I’ll run it on Saturday only since I do like the idea of reading the comics on the weekend. Old-fashioned, I know. Plus this way I don’t have to change the logo. And don’t expect to see regular Sneak Peeks. In a nutshell, if I have something to run I’ll run it.

And if I don’t I won’t. I have something like nearly 2,000 blogs on this site. What do I need to prove? So, your Daily Dose of the Absurdities of This Absurd World will be more-or-less daily. I can afford to take a few days off.

So expect more of the same, just a little more random than in the past, for the rest of 2014.

Meanwhile, this is Super Bowl Sunday, so I’m off to Mr. Blog’s Tailgating Party!

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If I Won The Lottery

31 Jan

January 30, 2014

If I won the lottery, for millions of dollars, maybe 500 million of them then I’d buy a house, buy my mom a house, quit my job, buy a solid gold toilet, yada yada yada, all the usual stuff people say they’d do. Sure, I’d pay off my credit cards, invest in the stock market, ride a hippo in the Kentucky Derby, all the usual things people do when they become filthy stinking rich.

But that’s not my dream.

I’d speed down the highway. wind whipping my hair, enjoying the envious stares of the other drivers, as I zoom past them in the coolest car in the world.

The Batmobile.

Batmobile

There is NO COOLER CAR IN THE WORLD.

Sure, I considered other cars.

  • The A-Team van? Too enclosed. No one would see whooping and hollering.
  • Magnum’s Ferrari? (OK, Robin Masters’ Ferrari.) Very cool, but still just a Ferrari.
  • KITT? Only if I could use the turbo boost to jump over traffic.
  • The General Lee? Not without shooting dynamite arrows out the window, and that might get me into too much trouble.
  • And The Millennium Falcon? Not technically a car.

And if I were driving the Batmobile, I would finally have a legitimate reason to wear a cape.

 

I’d drive the Batmobile down the highway just to see the look of envy on every other driver’s face. All those mooks in their Hyundai’s and Ford Fairlanes, drooling over the Batmobile, wishing they were me, wearing my cape, zooming down the highway, with somebody dressed as Robin in the front seat, or maybe just a classy escort I rented for the day (hey, I’m rich!) I’d get the whole thing on YouTube, it would go viral, and I’d do it again the next day. Unless it was raining. There’s no top on the Batmobile. That’s why Batman never fought crime in bad weather, and you just know that if it rained and he opened up an umbrella, it would be one the Penguin’s rigged explosive umbrellas. 

Oh yes, to be rich. I can just picture it now.

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That could be me! What a great Batman I’d make. OK, I’d probably break a lot of traffic laws and definitely wouldn’t stop any crimes, but my dream isn’t to tangle with the Riddler, it’s to zoom down the highway in the Batmobile. So you can take you other lottery dreams (flying to the moon, buying an island in the Pacific) and forget it. I’ve got you beat.

 

bmj2k batman

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