January 23, 2017
Did you hear that McDonald’s is coming out with 2 new versions of the Big Mac? This is true, no joke. One is a smaller one with less bread, one is a larger one with more beef. But what sets these burgers apart is that McDonald’s has decided to do away with the silly names and gimmicks and named them honestly and truthfully.
The Editor’s and Staff of Mr. Blog’s Tepid Ride (Home of the Nearly OK Blog) would like to applaud the McDonald’s Corporation for their bold move.
February 22, 2016
TO: Director of Operations, McDonald’s Corporation <DirectOps@McD.chzbrg>
FROM: Bruin Z. Othello <BigDaddyBruin@cheapohost.com>
RE: Business Opportunity
To Whom It May Concern:
I am a third year film student at Millburn University. As such, I am in a unique positon to offer you my services. I am interested in obtaining your financing to produce my documentary “Mayor McCheese: Civil Servant on a Bun.”
I propose to delve into the little-known history of the iconic Mayor and beloved burger shill. This documentary will answer the questions the public has about Mayor McCheese. What are his duties as Mayor of McDonaldland? What do his constituents think of him? Where did they find a grill big enough to cook his head?
I envision this filmed in a stark black and white first-person style, similar to my freshman production “Burger King: Whatever Happened to the Whaler?” All I require from you is the financing to buy film, equipment, assistants, and miscellaneous expenses.
Together, we can make this film a reality. Mayor McCheese has been in the public eye for many years, and now we can shine a light on this public personality’s private background.
Bruin Z. Othello
McDonaldland’s first three-term Mayor!