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The Inappropriate Gorilla

8 Oct

October 8, 2013

Do you like curry?
I do not.

I think it stinks. Put it in my meal and you can keep it. Don’t want it. Won’t touch it.
And that’s a problem.

My girlfriend is a great cook. She can cook anything and it all tastes great. But the trouble is, she likes curry.
Loves it.

I do not.

So it can be a little bit of a problem when she cooks for me because she is likely to put curry in anything, including pancakes.

But that is my cross to bear in life.

HOWEVER, there is one circumstance where I can get firmly behind curry, Where I say “bring it on” and while I won’t touch that crap, I’ll gladly back the fact that it is there.

gorilla

This is a shop in Manhattan and no, I’ve never been there. Don’t want to go in there either. But I love gorillas and stick a gorilla on a sign and you’ve got a store that I’m all for. Won’t try the food, but I love the sign. I have no idea what a gorilla has to do with curry, but as I always say, everything is better with gorillas.

That seems to me to be the most inappropriate use of a gorilla that I can imagine.

BTW- not only is that Kodak film’s colors, it looks like they used the same font as well.

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Is there anything more manly than cheese?

3 Sep

September 3, 2013

Is there anything more manly than cheese?

Frankly there is.

  • Fighting a lion
  • Farting in public
  • Testicles

But not one of them goes great on a burger.

Cheese is awesome! Put it on a burger, nachos, pretzels, melt it on a sandwich, squirt it straight out of the can, lick it off the body of someone you love, whatever you do with it, cheese rocks!

Which is why I had to stop and take this picture.

       DSCN2227                  

I was in New Jersey with Allan Keyes filming doing something I contractually can’t talk about Yes, those are my legs reflected in the window. Aren’t I a great photographer? But artistry be damned, we are talking about cheese! No phony “cheez” here, no plastic gooey stuff, this is the real deal C-H-E-E-S-E! Cheese!

Aside from bacon (mmmm, bacon) what else is there that is such an awesome food? Nothing. If all you had to eat in life were cheese and bacon you’d be very, very happy. And probably die of a massive heart attack in a few weeks but who cares? CHEESE!

So being a cheese loving man I had to stop at the amazingly named Cheese Cave (because when it comes to cheese, we are all cavemen at heart. “MMMM, want more cheese!”) and take a picture of the front window. I could only imagine all the varieties they must have inside- cheddar, Swiss, American, um, cheddar…

I would have loved to go in and browse, maybe buy a pound or ten, but something stopped me. It was a little voice, the voice of reason maybe, or perhaps my conscience, knowing how all that cheese would clog my arteries and make my cholesterol higher than Snoop Dogg/Lion in Mexico, but whatever, it was, it would not let me go in.

“The store is closed, dumb ass.” It was Keyes.

So I left New Jersey, salivating, my hunger for cheese unfulfilled. But don’t worry, there is a happy ending.

We stopped for pizza on the way home. Extra cheese.

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